Live Positive Way

This is not a blog post that was planned, but rather a sudden outburst of sad feeling that I got after I saw a news on TV.

It was about a 7 years old girl, who was studying in Class 1. She downloaded the infamous "Blue Whale" game to play as she was forced to do so by her seniors (studying in 3rd & 4th grade) in the school. Another channel at the same time was flashing a similar news about a teenager who committed suicide after playing this game of challenge, which has "Suicide & Win" as the last challenge. I was totally shocked watching the news.

I am not able to understand what those parents were doing? I believe, all such problems arise only when the parents build pressure on their children to become, 'the topper' in academics, cocurricular and extra curricular activities to 'prove' to world that they are simply superb and smart.... but why? As part of this effort, parents expose even small kids to "smart(?) phones" and other gadgets. What is the need of giving a smart phone to young children and encourage them to play addictive games. Let me declare here, no games are downloaded in my mobile phone nor I make my child play them. I feel, there is no 'pride' in telling others that "my child is smart enough to play video games or online games well". 

We quite often see parents who are 'busy' with their own life & they are always happy to give their kid a phone or any gadget to keep them engaged, but they don't realise that they are isolating their kids. There are some parents who happily say---referring to the inappropriate adult talk that their kids indulge in---"my child is much matured than his peer group"?!! Why the child needs to be matured...let the child be a child...let them enjoy their life, doing all the possible silly and mischievous stuff at home,...let them play in the ground, have silly fights, sustain minor injuiries, feel a hurt & learn how to get over it. This will prepare them to face challenges of life with confidence. We, the parents, expect our kids to excel in everything, force them too much, make them feel as if they are at 20 when they are hardly 10 years old or even younger than that. It is surprising to see parents push the kids to participate in so many 'stupid children reality shows' telecasted in television channels. They even applaud the kids without realising that the kids are talking inappropriate dialogues at a tender age. The way the reality shows run for children in television is certainly a nightmare to me.  

Parents working hard and sacrificing many of their 'needs and wants' to raise their children in a special protective environment that will help them succeed in life, but the billion dollar question is, are we heading in the correct direction? Can money, luxury and exposure to technology alone be enough for moulding them for the happy and successful future?

When I travel back to my school days, I vividly remember the moral science classes that we used to have once in a week. At that point in time, we felt it is a great class only because we don't need to write anything and hence simply enjoy the class, but now, I feel, it was a good learning exercise and we did learn more about moral values subconsciously. Today there is no such hour in many schools. Thanks to the overwhelming commitment displayed by the parents who are more bothered about 'marks' rather than 'morals'.

What is the use of such an education? Is this predicament because of our (parents) care or carelessness? Think about it friends. Let's educate our children to become a 'self confident person', who is capable of 'appreciating life' and have some 'moral values'. Let them not excel in playing such terrific online games. Of course, in this digital age, it is essential for kids to get an exposure to technology, but in a positive manner. They can use many educational games available online. There are age-appropriate education games too. Please take some time out to sit with your children and help them realise what is more important to them in life. Never get carried away by their trantums​, remember, you are the parent! Make it a point to engage them in some extracurricular activities. Be their friend so that they will get back to you for their emotional needs rather than taking recourse to electronics gadgets or drugs to vent out their stress. Be assertive yet sensitive & receptive. 

Please believe that, we are the ones who are going to take responsibility for building a better future for our children and the nation.

Take care of your child!! All the best!

- Suganthi Sankaran

Live Positive Way

"There are millions of individuals whom we come across in life, but, we admire only a very few".

I used to be an ardent follower of cricket--thanks to match-fixing episodes--I lost all the interest and hopes in cricket. Then came Dhoni into picture, even then, I don't remember watching many matches under his captaincy, except for the India Vs Srilanka World Cup 2011 finals. While watching that match after many years, felt an immense pleasure of watching an extra ordinary cricket. Thanks to Dhoni for instilling interest back in me. From the moment he won the much deserved "World Cup", I started seeing him as a player who can save the country's pride. 

To me, except Sachin Tendulkar none other cricketer was famous in Tamilnadu for a long long time. With CSK 20/20 matches I could sense that my Tamilnadu folks started admiring Dhoni so much and even call him "Thalaiva", which we use only for our "Rajnikanth". That much was his popularity​. If someone should become so close to people than of course something special must be with him. I was just wondering what it could be? The question in my mind was well answered by the movie 'M.S. Dhoni'. Not all movies are meant for commercial success alone, some touches our heart. One such film is 'M.S. Dhoni' and I can't resist myself from seeing it again and again. 

My presumption is that a film on any popular personality can't be purely on fictitious characters and events, some amount of authenticity must be there to portray the life and growth of that Individual. In 'M.S. Dhoni' (movie), his attitude and his approach to life are very lucidly picturised by the director. So after watching the movie I felt that he is a guy who is very simple, crystal clear, and assertive in taking right decisions at the right time. For somebody else, if placed in similar scenario, it will not be easy to take such tough decisions during tough times. On the whole, he always played only for his country and never for his individual record. He paved way for his juniors at the right time, unlike many of his seniors in the field of cricket. He always seem to be contented with what he has. We, having come from a middle class family are able to relate to few of his life incidences. One such scene with which I relate well is the way he boards the train to come back to his hometown throwing away his TC job. One fine morning, in a similar fashion I left my job that I did in a central government institution in Delhi and boarded the train to Chennai with no clue about what's going to happen tomorrow. When I saw the scene in the movie for the first time, I was awestruck. He is just like us, like a friend, a brother or a person-next-door.

I shared my thoughts some time back in my facebook page, which read as "Generally people who live & help others or serve the country never earn much fame or name compared to those who are selfish & calculative. The so called 'God of Cricket' fans may not accept my opinion, but, every time I watch M.S.Dhoni film I feel that the title suits Dhoni more...." I really mean it. 

Dhoni is... and will be... my favourite Batsman/Captain forever! 

Feeling good sharing this thought with you all and I am sure you will like this post.

A post dedicated to all Dhoni fans!!

Live Positive Way

Wishing everyone a Happy Independence Day!

We have stepped into 71st year of our Independence. I got many Independence Day messages today and the one that I liked very much is this..

"31 States

1618 Languages

6490 Castes

6 Religions​

6 Ethnic groups

29 Major festivals

& 1 Country!

Be proud to be an Indian!!"

In spite of such diversities we stand united and that's our power. Independence day and Republic day are the two big national celebrations during which we come together to celebrate.

When we stand high and united, when other countries are surprised to see our unity, then why do we shy away from being part of the celebrations? Let's always take part with full enthusiasm in our flag hoisting ceremonies.

Our sleep can wait for a while, television telecast is there everyday, please step out and take part in the success, for, we made it happen.

Why we feel hesitant to raise our hand to place near our chest while taking the Indian National Pledge? Let's do it with pride​ and not feel ashamed. It's a pledge you taking for yourself.

Sing it! Sing it loud!! It's our National Anthem! Why to feel shy when we are a special part of this amazing nation which always stays unselfish, shelters millions of refugees, forgives everyone​ who raises illogical comments passed​ on it and grows taking along the rest of the world with it!

Let's feel proud to be an Indian!

Step ahead!!

Jaihind!!!

Live Positive Way

Hello everyone!

I went into hibernation for a while (ofcourse not like Doraemon who gets into the special hibernation device, but in my own house) and now back to blogging! Huh....!

You know it is tough to be a counselor on one hand and to stay motivated on the other hand all the time. Though I can help others to reconnect with happiness/solace, taking all their tensions into my head tosses off at times, especially if I get to face some challenges in my personal life. Suddenly the thought of "Nothing lasts forever" kept lingering in my mind and dragged me so much into it.

We keep saying, 'my love is forever', 'forever friendship', 'lived happily forever and ever..'.  But the fact is 'nothing lasts forever'.  'Crushes' die fast, deep soulmate sort-of relationship too end with a smallest argument, relationships​ fade with the passage of time since out of sight is out of mind..., "forever friends" tag will just reduce to a 'tag' in Facebook postings; ofcourse friends will stay with us for a long time but time & space here can play a crucial role to make them move away from each other.

We get attached emotionally to a few places and people. Parting ways with them becomes vividly difficult. This shows that we are at times scared of changes. We might have thought that they will be with us forever and suddenly some change comes and drift us away (life is the biggest mystery). We may not be ready for those changes and million questions will pop-up in our mind.... 

• Will​ I be able to cope up?
• Will this be for a betterment?
• Can I stay happy with this change?
• Why it's always me?.... etc...etc..

Frankly speaking all these are more like a cliche, rewound & played again and again in my mind which led to my hibernation.

Today after a long time being left all alone, I was able to bring myself back to the state of contentment with the thought, "if happiness and peace are not forever, then even the sudden change and new challenges won't stay forever". Life is like a dream and the moments slips through our fingers super fast. My tiny tot grew up so fast but I still travel back in time when I watch her giving me the first kiss in the video that was taken when she was hardly 7 months old.

People leave even after they promised years of togetherness, hair fades, weather keep changing, even the political parties with rich heritage vanish (thanks to so-called youth icons), everything constantly keeps​ changing and force us to accept them.

The only thing that I feel will be forever is our own attitude, the constant push that we give ourselves to face the changes and to stay positive. Having an​ attitude of being happy, calm and at peace even in the toughest phases of life can keep us afloat of all the negativities. So always stay positive and happy by reinventing yourself all the time.

To wrap up the blog, here comes an apt quote by Marilyn Monroe :

“Nothing lasts forever, so live it up, drink it down, laugh it off, avoid the drama, take chances and never have regrets, because at one point everything you did was exactly what you wanted.”

- Suganthi Sankaran

Live Positive Way

It is a long pending blog post, that I always wished to pen down. Being a 'Positive thoughts blogger' I can't miss to write about something which is closely connected to it......that's "Mumbai"!  For me its my second home but closer to my heart than my hometown. 

Some say life in Mumbai is a roller coaster but for me its a bliss to stay in this wonderful city. The city which never sleeps, ever active and highly accommodative. 

Nowadays, in most places people are isolated....many who stay in apartments...doesn't even know their neighbours. Mumbai is one city wherein people come together, organise social gatherings to celebrate. Not just festivals but also national events throughout the year. This city teaches every single person how to 'celebrate' life. Even in their fast-paced life, they come together and share their time. In spite of over crowded public transport --- especially local trains --- they are still on time to office. When I was working there, I use to wonder how come all are able to be present, that too 10 minutes prior to their regular reporting time. Have tried on a few instances to go first but in vain. Its the Mumbai atmosphere which makes everyone incredibly active. Whoever stays there becomes super fast. It is the positive vibe that people spread out in Mumbai which infects everyone who comes there to live. 

Everything has a system in itself in Mumbai. They follow an unique order of acquiring seat in the running local trains. There is a hidden rule to how to get in, how to stand and how to get down from the train. Once you get used to it, then the local train journey becomes the most pleasant experience for you. People share their lives in train. Some group will be chanting bhajans, some sharing their breakfast, some having lively chats with their 'Mooh boli' behan/bhais.

You might have heard of many unfortunate events faced by Mumbaikars but their unity lifts them above any tragedy. Even a stranger pitches in during the time of crises and the way they help each other that we cannot experience even with our siblings.

Being an authentic cosmopolitan city, you can get anything and everything here and hence can never feel out of place. 

Mumbai is the only place in India where you can pick any litres of milk at anytime. The vegetable/fruit vendors won't compromise their customers for a few extra grams of vegetable/fruit that they can save. Everywhere its #PeopleFirst.

I used to stay in this beautiful city for three years. With my infant baby I was able to manage everything alone which is otherwise difficult in other cities. Be it a visit to a grocery shop or doctor or temple or a mall, 24/7 autos are available and at a very fair-fare! First time when I travelled I was amazed to know that I will be charged only ₹9/- after my ride. To add on to this I got surprised to receive my ₹1/- change back from the driver. That's Mumbai! You can travel even in very late hours in Mumbai and its safe!

May be I am not lucky enough to stay there for more than three years and I left that place with tears rolling on my cheeks and I am longing to relocate there anytime when a good opportunity arises.

Some say there are two types of people in Mumbai, one who loves it to the core and who hates it so much. I feel if you are an extrovert you will only love this amazing city. Fortunately, I never got to know anyone so far who hates Mumbai and never mind, if I even come across someone, I will get back to my 'Mumbai Ambassador's role' (few of my friends call me that way :) ) and make them love Mumbai!

I happen to visit Mumbai again a few days back and every time I go there I fall in love with this city. There are many things about Mumbai to mention but may be in my future blogs. 

Oh...oooo.... I forgot.............!

Dear Ladies, If you happen to shift to Mumbai don't hesitate and don't worry. Home-maid service is available round the clock in one & only Mumbai! They will even come to your house at 11-11.30pm to help you clean your stuff and you can start your next day afresh....Doesn't it sound good???!!!!!

Visit Mumbai at least once to get that magical feel!

Love you always Mumbai! "Aamchi Mumbai......"

Happy reading! Stay positive!

Live Positive Way

Friedrich Nietzshe, a German Philosopher said, 'Without music, life would be a mistake'. I prefer to read it as 'Without music, life wont be a journey worth doing. 

Life gives us a peaceful pause ....then again throw some new challenges. We really need something which can push us and keep us going and that's music!  Not just for me its for everyone. I always ask people I come across whether they love listening to music? If they say no, I will surely wonder how they are able to survive without music. 

I am not commenting about any specific form of music but music as such. Be it vocal or instrumental, traditional or modern, soft or metalic but some music. I listen to all these forms....from devotional song to fast beat Bollywood numbers, from instruments to high pitch folk songs, not just Hindi, Tamil & English but Spanish, Latin and Portuguese.... which I cannot understand much. It ranges from M.S. Subbulakshmi, Yesudas, Jagjit.....Sonu, Enrique to Pitbull. 

The peace and contentment the music gives cannot be gained from anything in life.  In my other blog about 'Hobbies', I mentioned that our hobbies can be connected emotionally with some situation and person.  Music as a hobby does it more intensely. I can't remember even vaguely from when I started listening to music but I can't be without music. Its association has been with me at the times of my success & failure, gain & loss. It is with me when I am in love or even when I am ignored. Music witness all my studies, be it writing a home work, record work or paper submission or studying for my exams, I need it to travel with me. Cooking, cleaning or rest... I need it to play along with me. If its not through speakers, earphones at least my lips will involuntarily murmur some song or other.. To be precise, it is with me 24/7.  

I am blogging this not to make others feel how much I love music but to stress on the point that how music can be a morale booster and give us a positive drive, which in turn help us to stay calm and focused. Whenever I feel a bit low, it can change my mood and make me feel fresh again. Many have criticized me for keeping myself updated with new songs and lyrics. They think I am old to sing new songs being in late 30's but it keeps me young when I sing, specially the new songs. If something gives us pleasure and fulfilment why not we keep doing it? Its you who gonna decide how you have to be and not others. If you think your favourite activities can keep u going just do it without hesitation. Age is always no bar to stay happy. I love elderly people listening to songs with HiFi sound systems. I feel even more motivated. Music can improvise our personal grooming standards too. Additional advantage is that it can motivate us to dance, which is again good for health. 

If you have missed the habit of listening to music, just try to start catching up with it. Spend quality time for yourself....work, house,  tensions can wait for a while..... Enjoy your life before its too late. Stay happy!

Please don't stop the music... 

♩♪♫♬♯🎼🎼🎼♩♪♫♬♯🎼....
- Suganthi Sankaran

Live Positive Way

Last week, I was watching the rallies conducted by our Prime Minister Modi in Uttar Pradesh, campaigning for the upcoming elections.  When I reflect, since my childhood, I don't remember any such leader who is so charismatic and appealing to me. I always admire him and I am inspired by the way he presents himself. No doubt he is charismatic enough to pull even the young crowd towards him. To me, he stands out as a "Youth Icon".

I used to feel bad before if someone criticize me, especially if it is back biting. But the book, " The Man of the Moment - Narendra Modi", changed me totally. He was and he is continuously criticised by many people who don't like him. Mostly, those allegations are proved baseless and meaningles. He never gets affected by them and always stay focused on his goals and works towards development. I am highly impressed by this quality of my leader and trying to stay composed and undisturbed like him.

It is unfortunate to see that even the so called 'Youth leaders' of our country are not able to make any positive impact -- not even to a fair level of competition. I see people, especially young citizens standing on both sides of the road to just get a glimpse of him, to wave their hands at him or to eagerly edging others to get a handshake with him, shows the love of people for him. This crowd doesn't seem like a deliberately pulled group instead seem to have come on their own will to see him and to listen to him. This vouches for the meteoric rise of a "chaiwala" to an "Iconic Leader".

Every time someone makes a case against him and he comes out clean --- thanks to Supreme Court judgements but still many keep defaming him. http://m.ndtv.com/india-news/no-evidence-against-narendra-modi-says-supreme-court-appointed-team-10-facts-475972 , http://www.tribuneindia.com/mobi/news/nation/allegations-against-narendra-modi-baseless-says-supreme-court/328256. It is an undeniable fact that he does have an emotional connect with his people, since he gives a feel that he is one amongst us. He has come from a middle class as the masses and of course not even changed an iota even after becoming the Prime Minister of India.

He has a massive diehard fan following, which is very hard to see even for a film celebrity in this country. He, for sure, has changed the relationship dynamics that existed for the past six decades in India between a Prime Minister and the citizens. On technology front as well he is up to the pace. He replies to our tweets, he retweet our tweets. 

His opponents' aimed attack on him stating that the UP election results will prove that Modi's 'DeMo' and other policy decisions will not be accepted by the common man is fortunately proved wrong by the profound support given by the Uttar Pradesh and Uttarakand electorates through the yesterday election results. The infamous allegations that he is more of a Hindu leader than a leader of the country has failed. I fail to understand, when each and every politician counts on his/her caste based vote bank, why it is always Modi who is targeted? I believe, Modiji alone is an accepted leader by the voters across the society irrespective of their community affiliations. 

My fellow Modi-lovers, it is celebration time folks. Let's be inspired by him more. Let's adore him for his Charismatic leadership and boldness. I am sure our country will grow from strength to strength under his able leadership. 

Let the NaMo wave continue to sweep the whole country in the days to come. Jai Hind! 

- Suganthi Sankaran

Live Positive Way

There is a myth.... To be a woman, you have to be beautiful, fair complexion, of good height and must look healthy.

It will start from childhood, being born with a wheatish complexion is a sin especially if the girl is born in an orthodox brahmin family. 'Oh! How the parents going to find a suitable groom...?' is the question started since the girl be 4 or 5 years old. Its ridiculous to hurt that tiny heart with such stupid comments without realising its impact.

If the parents are underprivileged than its the worst thing for that small girl. She will be pressurised in all corners of her life. 'Hey, your parents cannot afford you with some professional course and you being dull complexion how are you going to manage with a better groom?' (as if only marriage is the ultimate accomplishment for a girl). More than a concern it is always a sharp prick on the wound.  Perhaps they are enjoying the way that little girl is suffering to digest that harsh fate.

People consider themselves as 'Professional Counselors'. They comment, 'if you learn some shorthand (was famous three decades back perhaps now no one even bother to try that), you can be placed "at least" a Stenographer, but for that too you must possess some pleasing personality'. As if the looks are more important than knowledge and that is enough for that little girl to loose all hopes in life.

Unfortunately the one who pass on such comments will be the very Aunt of that child. We talk so much about women empowerment, but have anyone realised how unethical it is being a woman commenting about another woman in a bad way?

Hope time is changing now...at least most of the ladies understand to educate their girl children to have more confidence in themselves and make them realise that the looks, beauty, complexion, education everything comes only next to her attitude. If she posses positive attitude she can achieve everything in life. She is unique in some way, she is superior and she is a complete person herself. 

It doesn't matter if she is professionally qualified but what matters more is the way she provides a solid companionship to her husband with her support in tough times. It doesn't matter if she is able to educate her child with academic topics but to teach her child how to communicate with others, how to identify their strengths and the way she can mould her child to become an outstanding individual. It doesn't matter if she is a Master chef but if she is able to take care of her family needs it is sufficient enough.

We are stepping up in the new age world where all negative conventional way will not work out. If one keeps complaining, gossiping about others surely in short time they will only get neglected and ignored.  Its always there since ages that women alone are the women's enemy. Let's change it. We all can come together and help each other in balancing us. To create a better future for our children it is our duty to start being more positive and naive. There is nothing in the world a woman cannot do, so let's concentrate in something productive and relish ourselves with the greatest accomplishments of life.

Let's recreate positive energy!

Let's live and let live!

Wishing a very Happy International Women's Day! 

- Suganthi Sankaran.

Live Positive Way

'Nirmala' - is a popular novel written by the most eminent Indian author Munshi Premchand.  It's a Hindi fiction about an young girl forced to marry an old man as a second wife. Theme of the novel is about the dowry system existed in those days and about a mismatched marriage and its issues. I happened to read this novel thoroughly since I had an exam paper on this novel when I was doing my Hindi courses. As an young girl I felt so depressed every time I read the novel and some sort of uneasiness kept troubling me. 

The main protagonist Nirmala with whom the story evolves had to face so many problems in her life, starting from she losing her father, eventually her marriage breaks up, she forcefully gets married to an older person and later on her husband suspects her and finally she quits as a young mother leaving her new born child behind.

Being a teenager that time I was able to understand how it had been for a girl to face so many hurdles, being blamed by the family and society always. The story was first published in 1927 (pre-independence) which highlighted the much needed social reform of that era.

It just happened today to watch it is serial version created by Gulzar in Doordarshan (at times it is good to watch Doordarshan since its not as fancy as other channels but authentic) I travelled back to those emotions I carried with me when I was reading....sorry...."studying" Nirmala years back.

I don't understand what sort of equality ladies talk about now-a-days. I don't have the locus standi to talk about other parts of India but in my state, my city, the girls have been given a very good education by their parents, in turn able to get into any profession of their choice, earning as good as a male counterpart and also able to have a stable growing career.

Once again today's parents are supportive to their daughter's choice of marriage and they are happily being married off irrespective of differences in caste, community and status. Unlike 'Nirmala' they are married off to a man just a couple of years elder to them or of an equal age and again most of the male members of our society is pretty accommodative and adjustable to their wives and definitely not like those days.

Now the question arises....still why girls keep complaining about not given equal rights? What sort of equality we need after so many changes positively done in the society itself? I have heard women arguing with their husbands to share household chores and mainly about cooking, "If I cook for 5 days you have to cook rest 2 days in a week".... But why? Since we ladies are more capable of handling household chores and cooking is a prestigious thing to do. We can do them better than a male member and hence we should feel superior in that so  why we need to share those work with them?

Its a choice we become mother and I hate people saying mother does all sacrifices for her child. We are not sacrificing instead we are happy to have a child whom we can mould as an excellent human being and leave them as our 'Signature copy'/Parchai. I am feeling proud to be a girl, a mother. I think its a greatest gift by God so we are here as a girl hence I feel why we have to share the duties of a mother with anyone else? We are excellent multitasking personalities no male can match up. We must feel proud in all those we do for our family and ourselves instead of seeking equality in those mundane activities.

Real equality of a girl is in the way she can think independently, the right to speak her mind, equality in acquiring education and knowledge, the freedom to attain her own spiritual insights, above all being herself. It may offend a few since I am not supporting or defining equality in terms of the way a girl dress up. For me more than fighting for equality in terms of dressing choice its prudent to adapt to the social atmosphere of the place we live in. Its always better to protect ourself by avoiding any uninvented troubles.

I am blessed to have a father who brought me up as an independent individual. I am also proud to have a husband as good as my dad and a step ahead of him in supporting me in all my endeavors. So I never felt that I am in anyway inferior to any male member in the society. I am happy to carry out each and every activity at home for my family and I don't find me a lady equal to men but Superior!!
- Suganthi Sankaran

Live Positive Way

Sometime back I saw a message in the Facebook which read "965 Facebook Friends, 389 WhatsApp Contacts, Still outside the ICU he had only his wife, children and his parents for whom he never had time to spend".

What I have to say?....... May be the person in ICU is so unfortunate.  He is not blessed with some true friends or he has never tried to show up in his friends gain and pain....

We keep hearing from our childhood days that only relatives will be there in our tough times to support us and so we have to oblidge to their so many conditions.  Parents keep insisting to their children--especially the less privileged parents -- " you must be nice to these people, trust me, without them we will not be able to survive and succeed".  Neither these relatives are standing outside the ICU.

Its all about the way we perceive things. It doesn't matter if its your siblings, relatives or friends.....but what matters is the one whom we can trust and the one who shares his shoulder to cry on.

In this fast paced world even the parents and children interacts through Facebook. They are listed in the friends list too. Doesn't it mean they are now among these "965"?

Most of the times when we are away from our hometown and family we are given support and guidance by our friends. We can trust them more since they will always wish our wellbeing.

From my personal experience I have always been helped more by my friends.  They are the ones seen in my Facebook, WhatsApp as well....or any other social network for that matter.

Years back when the Facebook and Orkut just started my Uncle went through a bypass heart surgery. I just posted a message in Orkut and sent some SMS to few of my friends and in turn they shared it with their friends. On the day of my uncle's surgery there were more than 15 people who came to donate blood to him. Trust me I don't know who they are but they were my "friends of friends".

People like me will totally disagree if someone say friends will never turn up in our tough times. As a person who had stayed in many places I always have had many friends who supported me in facing my challenges. The bond is getting more stronger with the old friends and the chain is growing bigger with the new ones.  Thank God I won't be the person as quoted in the start. I am blessed with many good hearts like You - My dear friend!!

- Suganthi Sankaran

Live Positive Way

Years back when I was working with ABN AMRO Bank, in our department we played a game called 'Star of the day'. We select a person randomly and rest of us will share something positive about them written in a paper and will put them in a drop box. At the end of the day, we open that box and read out loudly all things written in those papers.  My fellow Bankers might have even forgot this but I have treasured those valuable comments till date since its their comments and my compliments. I keep seeing them whenever I find myself little upset or missing those days!

A couple of days back I have posted a message in my Facebook timeline and shared it to my WhatsApp friends too which reads as follows - "Say one word which describes about me"..... I did received some replies back and there were really some unexpected surprising replies too.

It might sound funny to see something like this posted by an adult like me, but the entire process was to know what my dear ones think about me. I can be an International blogger, an Educationalist, a Motivator but being a normal human begin at times I too need recognition, acceptance and encouragement. These things always boost me more.

'Appreciation' - that's what everyone needs starting from a child to an old person. But everyone busy chasing their own dreams and hence have no time left to think about others or thank and appreciate anyone. But appreciating a person can not only motivate them but we will also have a feel of positive impact in us when we do so. If you want to appreciate anyone you have to carry a smile on your face, openness in heart and honest words to deliver it. If we are able to bring smile in someone's face by appreciating them, why can't we do it regularly?

Lets not even say just for the sake of saying, we can always be true and appreciate them for what actually they have done. It can even be the smallest thing but we can motivate them. If we start doing it we will end up receiving it. Let's appreciate others and also our own self. Just these words from one of my favorite songs flashing in my mind......

"the more you give; the more you get; always try not to forget; so give it all the way; and all that you want will be yours...."!

Live Positive Way

Natural disasters!  How helpless we are! Unlike man-made disasters it will be felt all over the city and completely.  No one be able to help others since all got caught in that disaster. Whether it was our last year's flood or this year's horrific 'Vardah Cyclone', we were helpless. Especially during this cyclone everyone in My City - Chennai had locked themselves in their homes and gazing through their windows wondering how its gonna turn out and when it will be over and worried about their family and friends left stranded outside in the city at the time of cyclone.

Its always an emotional, mental and physical challenge in the time of crisis mostly like without water supply and lack of necessary survival-essentials.  These situations even provoke brutal happenings, looting and crimes but Chennai is 'moderately' safer city compared to other places and hence we are all safe.  

During last year floods, we were in a better situation with electricity and water supply. We (our apartment) were able to get news updates and were in a position to help a few but this time that too got rulled out since whole city is worst affected -- cut off from the world without any power supply and connectivity. Nevertheless, after it got over, inspite of all difficulties, the best part of such scenarios is that it brings out kindness and strengthens bonding with the people who stay near us.  Humanity stands tall and everyone get ready to help each other.  

Last year floods made me to identify the like minded people in my apartments and which later on developed into a great friendship and going strong since a year.. This time without electricity, television, broadband and internet connections we were taken back to 80's and 90's and it has surely brought back those fond childhood memories. The kids were playing in the open corridors instead of locking themselves at home with the idiot box TV. Saw our fellow flatmates getting drenched and enjoying the rain as if nothing worst has happened. Later, men  got involved in removing fallen trees and ladies helping each other lending stuffs, with cleaning tips and some families bonding over a cup of tea. 

Being in a materialistic world these days, we hardly get to know even a few personally but such tough times help us to initiate friendship, improve bonding with already existing ones. Being a social animal we too need self gratification and being accepted by our people, these phases in life will truly help us to understand ourselves better.  Though I am blessed with many friends in my place and we are a big gang of friends we hardly have time meeting everyone together. This time we could manage to do that. Thanks to Vardah cyclone. I personally felt strongly bonded with my friends, had some quality time with my better half, found my friends coming and calling me to check around if I am safe and me feeling worried and checking about my dear and near ones. I once again started using the stairs to climb up which I left years back.  

At the end...all is well. Just another couple of days and the city will become normal. We be back with our routine but the memories will last forever and the friendship till the end of my life. We will learn to share and value each other going forward. Feeling motivated to post this blog but wondering when I be able to since I am waiting for my internet connectivity....but sooner! Oh.....you already read? Thanks for blog walking! 

Stay positive....always!!

Live Positive Way

It is always there when a girl gets married she becomes busy with her family performing duties of a wife and a mother.  Hardly she gets time to think about or do anything for the society even though she wish to do it.  

Have expressed many times to my hubby that when I leave this world at least I must have 10 people (excluding my blood relatives) to cry and mourn for me.  At least I must touch few kids life who will surely think me like a mother and be very special to them.  Yesterday when I witnessed our Honourable Chief Minister of Tamilnadu, Ms. J Jayalalitha, who doesn't have a family of her own, doesn't have a child but the whole Tamilnadu mourning for her.  There are still so many people today paying their homage to her by the way of doing 'Mundane', generally done only by the son while performing the last rites of his parents.  She is blessed with thousands....no lakhs and lakhs of sons & daughters.  The way her last journey took place was very touching and everyone in Tamilnadu still mourning with divinity and peace.

She performed the duties of a mother.  She provided food to the most needy, she provided water in a subsidised rates, she gave bicycles and laptops to the students, many more to add on to this endless list..  It is justified with her every action that she did everything like a mother and that's why she is fondly called as 'AMMA'.  Even the national English channels telecasting her news with the headlines #RIPAmma.  Top leaders starting from the President, the Prime minister, other states Chief ministers, Cabinet ministers, VIP's of Tamilnadu all were present to pay homage to her.  Its all over now but still every minute, every second I keep receiving messages from social medias about some wonderful memories of hers and what she really been.

Just remembering the words of Thiruvalluvar, "Thondrin pughazhodu thonruga ahuthilar thondralin thondramai nadru" meaning "If you are born (in this world), be born with qualities conducive to achieve fame. From those who are destitute of them it will be better not to be born".  She lived that way and had left this place leaving a big void behind.

A tribute to our Iconic Leader, A Great Lady, an Amazing Personality.  Will miss you for sure. #RIPAmma

- Suganthi Sankaran

Live Positive Way

While browsing Facebook today I came across some astrological prediction of the Sani/Saturn transit which is going to happen next year. That post took my mind intensely few years back. That was the time when I quit my profession completely to take care of my daughter and was going through some challenges in life.  Few relatives and some friends used to say it's all because of my Yezhu-arai Nattan Sani (The 7 1/2 years of Saturn transit) by which I was facing those difficult times.  It was like to some extent that if I start discussing about any issues my loved ones say "aiyo, don't talk much...its 7 1/2 Sani, talk less, it be good for you".  I am not a keen follower of astrology and also I was not able to accept what they said since 'Life' is always a roller-coaster.  Yes! there were many difficulties past few years and even if I thing vaguely its because of Sani peyarchi, I can't deny that all those problems had some better solution always.

Being an optimist I can bounce back but the difficulties were so different that I was able to sense even my own ones becoming indifferent and just changing so selfish.  I did loose one of my brother like friend who used to be my biggest moral support.  I was continuously shifting places due to various reasons.  But, I am always blessed with many well wishers, good friends who were not my kin still mine supporting me in many ways to cope up with those situations.

Now almost at the end of this 7 1/2 years phase I am staying happy with inner peace.  When I look back and remember those tough times I really understand now that I have learned to stay more serene, learned what to say and what not to say, have learned to be more assertive, realised who all are truly there for me, who are all fake & how to handle them and how I have to stay away from negativities.

Well, if I think about it from Shani Dev's point of view, then I am bound to give him all credits since he has in a way created a complete data-chart for me to understand people who are genuinely mine and positive and who I can take along with me in this life's long drive!

Its not necessary to get panic and afraid about anything in life since its always a learning experience in various situations and it makes us a better person at the end.

Let's appreciate, rejoice & enjoy life...wishing each one of you a splendid times ahead!

Stay happy.... Stay positive!

Live Positive Way

Hey you....do u love me or hate me?

Suddenly its sunlight, bright n full of lights And again dark, dull & den...

Been treated so special sometimes 

And again feel so lonely...

You fill me with smiles and appreciations And yet again its rejections...

If I think its so tough you surprise me with some big bang miracles...

If I am serene you again disturb me with a new set of challenges...

Are you a reality, mystery, joyful ride, pride or a terrific stride....numerous changes all the way drive....

You give me many good people all the way who are not my kin still mine.... 

And you make my own people alien..

At times I think I have won over you when I feel I am complete....

And again you will make me feel incomplete with new responsibilities....

When I sit back easy you make me run to search my goals....

When I need anything you will take me away from it and make me distressed....

You fill my life with so much love, respect and admirations.... 

And again at times its as if no one around....

Is that you keep playing hide & seek? or its just the way you test me?

Whatever way you be with me...hey "Life".... I have learned to appreciate you and enjoy it all the way through........ 

- Suganthi Sankaran

Live Positive Way

Hobbies are so important for any individual since it can help in grooming up a person.  In childhood we even go to an extent to excel in them with regular practices but gradually fail to pursue it once we go to job or get married.  While the men will get busy earning for his family and the ladies.....busy Home Makers!

Actually all our hobbies and likings will be connected to our happiness and subconscious mind's desires.  By leaving them behind we distance ourselves from the real us.  Our hobbies can keep us intact and by maintaining it we can spend some quality time for ourselves.  In this very busy world we are chasing the material accomplishments and we forget to even rejoice something which we have for us.  Hence its better if we keep something for us, which we like much. We can be stress free if we do it and trust me there won't be any need to go to Doctor complaining depression, anxiety or stress to get diagnosed with some disorder.

Have seen people who leave their hobbies particularly after marriage and they get too involved with their partner and go very far away from themselves.  Its good to be with the person we like the most but not at the cost of loosing us.  The times keep changing, we may be priority to someone in some time and that too will surely change.  But our hobbies are inbound and we don't need anyone else to pursue it.  If you like to listen to music, get a mp3 player and ensure at least you listen an hour in a day.  If you love dancing and feel conscious in front of others, do it in a closed room when you are alone.  I personally feel the people who has the habit of reading are the lucky ones.  Books indeed are one's best friend and it gives pleasure as well as develops our personality.

Its a request to all my fellow readers not to loose their hobbies in anytime in life since personal gratification is more essential and we will realise that in our old age days once the people whom we cared move on with their goals and we be left behind.  There were times when I stopped listening to songs and singing and those were the worst times of my life. Once I realized it gives me happiness and indirectly strengthens me I started listening songs and singing again.  We do connect everything which we like with a moment, person, time......so when we keep doing it our mind will stay full with those treasured memories.  Hence keep doing it and keep reinventing yourself, it will surely push you up in a positive direction.

Stay fresh.....always! Keep motivating self & everyone around!

Live Positive Way

Its a pleasure celebrating festivals that too if it brings people close to each other. Navratri (9 days) is my most favorite festival for its unique blend.  It is a combination of both colours and lights.  We in Tamilnadu, India celebrate Navratri by keeping Golu - idols made out of clay/mud and invite friends to showcase the same and give them Thamboolam (Gift) for visiting our place.

It started from the day we friends went out for shopping for the festival. Then decorating house, fixing the toys in appropriate hierarchy, showing some innovative work in the process.  At last done with it!

For Golu everyday we have to make 'Sundal' (boiled pulses) offered to God and the same we distribute as Prashad to our friends and kids visiting our place.  

When I asked my Dad for why we celebrate it by keeping clay toys, he said that in those days during this monsoon season normally Potter doesn't get much business and hence to provide him with some work for his earnings such festivals might have started.  Not just Potter, the Florist, Fruit Vendors and other people too get their earnings this way.

I just want to add more to my Dad's view, its an opportunity to gain new friends, to strengthen the bonding with the existing friends, so much fun since it involve kids, pleasure offering gifts to the people visiting us and above all staying active and pleasant all through the 9 days!

Staying in an apartment set up its always interesting to celebrate festivals.  Though it involves much work the way the visitors get excited seeing the Golu will surely bring in much needed satisfaction.  There are so much in our tradition which if we follow can enlighen us from with in.  Its always good to be rooted in our culture and customs. The past 10 days were fabulous and now feeling fantastic, energetic and vibrant.  Feeling a high positive energy at home and started counting days for the next Golu, now a year ahead!

Stay Happy & Stay Positive!

Live Positive Way

It’s always easy to tackle the people who criticize us on our face.  If we need we can give an explanation or just pass on a sweet smile and ignore them.  But the ones who talk about us in our absence are more dangerous.  They can modify the facts as per their wish and can bad-mouth us.  Even if we are super positive, still at times we may feel low if we come to know someone backbiting us.  But we cannot change them and we cannot do what they are doing to us.  Hence just keep cool and tell yourself “No one can stop the Sun from shining, it may hide under the clouds for a while but will shine bright once it’s out. I am like that Sun”.

We are not here to please everyone around us!  We are here to evolve ourselves! If someone not able to understand your good intentions and feel jealous of you it’s their problem, not yours.  It’s your choice to stay happy and enjoy life. Just keep doing it and ignore those who are always there to hamper your happiness.  At the end whoever stay happy and wish happiness for everyone can only achieve in life.  The ones backbiting others can never have peace nor happiness since their heart is filled with grief and greed.  We can only feel pity for them.  Wish they too understand and enjoy life as we do!

Hey you, once again step out and keep your good work going…..!

Stay Positive & Stay Strong……!!