Live Positive Way

Again....it is summer vacation time. We are in the mid of May and only few more days to go for the vacation to get over. 

Nowadays, kids get bored in just two days of vacation. I remember my school days. My tamil folks can relate to playing 'dhayakattai', 'pandi', 'kallangai', 'pallankuzhi', 'paramapadham', etc.... We used to pick just one of them and keep playing for the whole day. We only take break for lunch and tea and wind up post 6 pm. Sometime it continues like a test series... until we become 'bondi' (bankrupt in the game), but we never used to get bored. 

I am an avid reader since my childhood and hence had a habit of visiting a nearby 'old paper mart' to request him to spare some books on a rental basis. My visits used to continue till the end of the vacation. I agree that we didn't have much exposure to television or internet but our childhood days were never boring. Now, children have got so many channels to watch hence before they make up their​ mind to watch something they get bored.

Being with cousins was the best thing that happened to me on holidays. Me, my brother and my cousin sister were the "3 musketeers" roaming around together almost the entire vacation time. We used to have our own share of fights and arguments but at the end of the day we make up and ensure we had loads of fun. Thanks to our modernization...and nuclear family set up....children of this generation are totally cut off from the happiness of being with cousins. To add to it, the gadgets that are available to them make them move away from everything and everyone. Though I ensure that my child does not use them more often...still...at times I really pity for her when I think, "what else she can do"?... 

We too are to be blamed. If they even go to their granny's house we keep calling them every hour to check how they are....But in those days when we went to our uncle/aunty's place... only when our parents saw us back after holidays they will be able to talk to us and know how we were. So to speak, it helped us to be more creative and independent. I remember narrating so many stories when I got back from vacation. Even now, I share them with my husband occassionally. Those were real fun-filled days.

One big summer task used to be making homemade 'vattal', a snack dried under the sunlight. We used to sit for hours together with our granny the whole day under the sun, making those round tiny eatables, which we dry under the sunlight. But sun was also not this hot with us. He used to be our morning motivation and a friend. We ignored the elders at home yelling at us, "don't be out the whole day...it's hot!". 

It was safe to freely roam around. Today, we are not allowing our children to play outside and spoiling them with various gadgets and made to feel scared really about many crime against children. At least we must help them play some indoor games to avoid them staying with their ipads, tablets, smart phones or gaming consoles.

We even used to climb mango trees in our house/nearby our houses to get loads of mangoes which we temper with salt & chilli powder and have them together. It helped us to learn 'sharing' things with our cousins/friends. Unfortunately we hardly find trees now and it is 'us' who had cut down the trees to build our houses... isn't it?

Aah! Down the memory lane....! I feel 'if I can' get back to those days, I am ready to disown my mobile phone, television, internet, and other comforts for that matter. But reality is...we cannot​ change the change that had already happened. But one thing is for sure, we---friends/cousins---are still in touch and age doesn't matter. With the same gadgets we can get back to our childhood days' pleasures... You know how? We can stay in touch daily with them like before, can pull each others legs with witty chats and funny jokes. 

I suddenly had a self-doubt a few days back like whether the relationship I have with my friends/cousins is 'still' intense and profoundly positive... compared to what it was then, so I sent a riddle to them 'to describe me in a word'. The replies not only made me happy but it also boosted my morale and gave me a reassurance that the distance really doesn't matter.

Let's enjoy our life like we are still a child. We are the same old funny peeps who can share anything between us without an iota of shame. Guess what? They may also be longing to see us back in our old form.... Remember, "your vibe attracts your tribe"....so trace back all of them!

Stay happy​! Stay positive!

- Suganthi Sankaran

Live Positive Way

Normally, a girl and a boy meet each other....either based on their mutual choice or because the parents and relatives arranged for a meet. Then eventually 'the grand event' takes place. A 'beautiful' bride and a 'handsome' groom ties the knot to become a 'family'. They start their new life with fun and happiness. They often go out on trips. They always keep cuddling each other enjoying each other's company. And they happily live forever....

Oh! This can happen only in our Bollywood/Kollywood movies and in our Television soaps (serials). Of course, 'Mega serials' are exceptions. They portray the flip side of this story. Thanks to all our female viewers. They always (!!???) feel very happy to see the other girl cry. 

But the 'marital bliss' is something different from both the two scenarios stated above. We can say with certainty that it is more than roaming around, shopping and enjoying eachother's company.

Nothing comes easy in life, so is the marriage life. It takes a lot of love, care, understanding, accommodation, compromises and above all---in our Country---it takes a lot of patience and time to make it strong.

Of course after a few initial days of trails and tribulations the actual life starts. I always feel the older version of marriage that we saw in our grannys' days was "near-perfect". Some feminist readers may not agree with me on this. I think, nowadays, brides demand so much to get married to a guy. The sad part is he must know 'cooking', 'cleaning', 'moping' and what not... So demanding!! Isn't it?!

I guess the secret to a smooth and happy married life lies in the partners realising the exact areas in which they can support each other and compliment each other rather than dwell on 'conflict' over mundane stuff. Over-demanding nature from both ends can only make things worse.

From my point of view the guy must help his wife to become more independent economically, provide opportunities to explore positive sides of her personality, comfort her with freedom to express her point of view in their life decisions and support her to cater to her emotional needs. On the other hand, the girl should lend her helping hand to support her husband's professional life, either by the way of contributing financially or by staying as a constant support in every step he takes by motivating him and by saying, "I know you can do this", "You are capable of, and I am with you".

In spite of all these efforts there may still be an avenue to fight, argue or disagree with each other, but that can be solved if its been done in a peaceful way, by lending ears/shoulders to one another. Many a times, we adjust to make a passenger sit next to us in train/bus/auto with a broad smile. They are strangers we are never gonna meet them again. Imagine, how much important the person who is going to spend his entire life with us. Only harmonious life partners can create and mould a balanced child who will be emotionally and logically strong.

You all must be wondering why all of a sudden such a post on marriage life. Isn't it? Guess what.....?  It's almost 11 years of roller coaster ride on this marital journey and after crossing all tides of fear, fights, bliss and peace, I guess, I am eligible to give my piece of advice on this.

Stay married and still stay happy! ☺

Keep blogwalking friends! Thank you!!

- Suganthi Sankaran

Live Positive Way

I was hardly four or five years when my dad introduced 'YOU' to me. I didn't know then that this bond is going to continue for years and years!

I walked long way to meet you with my dad and I was awestruck seeing you. I felt happy being with you and started playing and enjoyed every bit of you.

I kept growing and I gradually introduced my special 'You' to some of my friends, cousins and whenever I met you it was very hard for me to say 'bye' to you. Everytime, my dad kept yelling, 'how long you gonna take?', I used to say 'a few more minutes Appa, please'.

Whenever​ I met you I always had a feel of how huge my life is. It's full of happiness. You helped me overcome my fear of meeting people. See now! Here I am today... I can talk with​ anybody with ease. I remember standing as a timid Suganthi in front of you, but you encouraged me to break my fear, to shout, scream and sing aloud. To a great extent I owe you for the profound positive attitude I carry today. Everytime I meet you, there is always something new I acquire. You know all my happiness, sorrows, fears, secrets, desires.... You know me!

You taught me that the sorrows and pains can come and touch me but surely it will subside soon. Sometimes you have dragged me forcefully towards you but only to make me feel that I can stay strong and can help myself.

Now, I am not able to meet you in person, but I pass by you to tell you that still you are the Special One in my life. At times it takes years to meet you but the very thought of you being there makes me feel happy.

If someone asks me now, "how you would like to see yourself?". I simply think about you in my mind, my dear, my special - 'Marina Beach' and I reply them..'an Ocean....."!!

- Suganthi Sankaran

Live Positive Way

Blogging about some personality has become my latest passion and this time it's not just one person but about a special group of friends in my life.

There is a popular saying, "Two is company and three is a crowd", but can you imagine a group of 22 girls being together yet very comfortable with each other and going strong in a bond of Friendship? Yes, you heard it right. 

We are 22 in number! We met on this same day, 2nd February in the year 2015. So today is our 'Friendiversary' (Friends Anniversary).

You may think what is so special in that? We do stay in groups in school, colleges, or even in office and at the place we reside. True! I don't deny the fact but we are a group of girls who came together for a common cause, 'to empower ourselves and bring some value addition to our lives'. This bundle of friends met on this day three years back to qualify themselves as the 'Special Educators'.

When I agree that we do have a strong group of friends at school/college/workplace, there was always a competition between/among them, though it was not quite visible, but it still existed. I remember my school/college friends comparing their scores with each other (even the best buddies) and at times seen unappreciative about their fellow buddy's good scores. Do you remember the famous '3 Idiots' movie dialogue? "Dost fail ho jaye toh dukh hota hai. Lekin dost first aa jaye toh zyada dukh hota hai" (It feels bad when a friend fails but it feels even worse when he comes first). Hope everyone agrees to this. I know, with age, we became much matured but can't deny the fact that we had a tough competition then. In the case of Office buddies, the period of 'appraisal' becomes a nightmare and it will be a litmus test for that friendship. I have even heard a few friends falling apart due to that. At times even a Job rotation can bring in bitterness in a friendship with a colleague.

We, the gang of 22, are so unique in every way. On the first day of our 2+ months course, we met in the evening before winding up our session, on that very first day, I experienced a feeling of 'oneness'. I and my other group-mates collected all the phone numbers and email ids to form a WhatsApp group and we just kicked off like we were together for ages. Have never felt we are 22 different 'individuals' present there but felt like just 'one' blended team. We had same opinions, same thoughts and same solutions. I remember and recollect that our "Course Coordinator" too appreciated our 'oneness' and she admitted that she did not come across such a closely-knitted batch before.

We always wholeheartedly appreciated the efforts put in by each and every individual in the class. There was never a single criticism about anyone, no gossips about a fellow teammate and absolutely no backbiting. On a few occasions, if some of our mates present their ideas in the way of singing/dancing, everyone in the class will get involved and it eventually turns out to be a whole class activity. None felt bad presenting our views openly and every one of us helped each other in our projects and presentations.

You may feel it is quite natural since we come together with a common motto but all 22 people being there intact with each other is not that easy since every individual has their own personality. Even if some of them were introverts and not active in social life but still they were so active and open within this particular group.

The enjoyment that I get and the comfort that I have with these 21 friends is something very special and unique. They even had the privilege of calling me by my Nickname 'Sugan' since the first day of our course (we normally allow only our close friends to call by our Nickname). We are not able to meet so often due to our personal commitments and mostly connected through WhatsApp and Facebook but I am sure the day we meet up we will start from where we left. Together, for two months, we learned a lot from each other. In terms of affinity, they are even ahead of my many other friends' group that I am associated with since my childhood and hence they are so special to me. 

Today being our groups 'Friendiversary' I wish to dedicate this blog post to my Dearies, my Lovely Ladies - My MDA Batchmates. Once again you girls are so special to me and I love you all my beauties.

Stay connected, always!

- Suganthi Sankaran

Live Positive Way

“Life begins at forty” W. B. Pitkin

This blog is extremely special for me in two ways. First – it is my 1001st post and I am blogging since 2008. Second – I guess you might have got the clue! Isn’t it? Yes! I turned 40, my milestone age this month.  I don’t know why few people shy away from revealing their true age but I am feeling happy turning 40 and in fact, was eagerly waiting for this moment. 

“If life really begins on your 40th birthday, it's because that is when women finally get it….the guts to take back their lives” – Laura Randolph.

What an inspiring quote! But I make sure I am not going to pen down some usual challenges or hindrances of women in this blog post, certainly not a feminist post. I feel, irrespective of the gender differences 40 is the age where we can actually take a break, look back and analyse the path we travelled so far.  I am sure that each one of us has great achievements and a terrific story to tell. 

40 years – some consider it as an age of maturity. Do you agree? Let us check this list I thought of….

• Should stop singing all latest songs. Oh! I am 40, I can’t dance now, it may look awkward.

• No more novels, movies or adoring celebrities – going to read or spend time only on some spiritual engagements.

• I am getting old and in the middle age group now so it is unorthodox to look presentable with makeup.

• I must start putting up a serious face and sound strict with the children around and have to make everyone obey my orders.

• People must come and personally invite me for their family celebrations, otherwise, my ego will get hurt… I have turned 40!

Come on! Let’s not get into these ‘typical Indian maturity/ageing format’.  Maturity has got nothing to do with the way you enjoy your life. I feel it is time for me to dance more, sing louder and get connected with each person who come in my way. I am sure only these things are going to enlighten my life in the coming days.

Then, what is maturity? Everyone has their own understanding of this topic I am just joting​ down mine.

• Make life simple.  First, love yourself and do only those things you want to do. For, enough time is already spent on pleasing people. Some of them will never get satisfied whatever you do for them.  Just dust yourself from these petty issues and decide to take control of your life.

• I keep advocating everyone to get involved in their favourite hobbies.  Do what gives you meaning in life. Do things which can give you inner peace and self-motivation, be it singing, reading, dancing, gardening, carpentry or anything that which you love to do

• There may be many challenges you might have faced so far. I personally got hurt when I was a little girl by a few people who were 40 then.  I have grown old and they too have. Instead of ignoring them, behaving rudely with them or pinpointing their mistakes, it is better to show them how matured a 40 year old can be. Be generous even to the one who had hurt you. Be kind to the younger generation. They only need your acceptance, love and encouragement. It is not fair to show the hatred that we have for someone's parents towards their children. 

• Be bold. Take a stand for yourself.  Only you know better about yourself hence don’t let others dictate terms to you. Set your own principles. It's absolutely okay if others are not happy about it.  It's your life! Live it!

• Discover the purpose for which you are here. Try to touch lives by the way you can. Reach out to people. Spend your life wisely and satisfactorily. This lifetime is so precious and not going to come back again once done.  Hence be prudent.

• Some people are always going to criticise you at your back.  Those people who gossip behind you are exactly where they belong…behind your back, hence you keep moving forward.  Do not take them personally and hurt your inner peace. Your purpose must be to make your life fantabulous.

• Have faith, hope and trust in life. Spread positivity that can help you redefine yourself again and again.  People have become so stingy when it comes to motivating their fellow mates, but let us be extravagant in motivating others. Appreciate even the smallest positive thing done by others. Bring smile at least on one person’s face a day.

• Stop counting the birthday gifts you receive and start checking on how many beautiful wishes you receive on your special days.  Be reciprocative and thank them. It makes a lot of difference to the quality of life we lead when we mutually share our joy and respect. This is the biggest gift of mankind.

• Finally, let us appreciate whatever we have in our life at this juncture. Be thankful to God for taking you through this wonderful 40-year journey which holds a lot of experiences, lessons and fruitful tips which is going to make the coming years more beautiful and enjoyable.

I can keep adding more points to this never-ending list… I guess I have more time to do that in my upcoming blogs. To sum up - “Grow through what you go through”. It's your life and you are its driver. Plan a clear destination and let an enlightening path be guaranteed by the Almighty.

Have fun! Live your life rather than merely existing!

Drop in your valuable comments.  It is because of your support and encouragement I have reached this far. My sincere thanks and humble pranams to my blog followers!

Stay healthy! Stay positive! 
Now my journey starts towards my next milestone ‘graceful 60’ !

- Suganthi Sankaran

Live Positive Way

"Sometimes, you need to figure out a thing for yourself...".... Just read some where and that too the time I was in deep thoughts.... Sometimes it's really important to understand oneself. It's always happy, fun and active life I enjoy. It's an attitude I cultivated for myself after getting tired of so many disappointments.

Hope depending on gadgets are so easy than humans, only possible shortcomings is, it goes off.... still we can replace it. But getting attached to a person so deeply, there starts all stress in life.  If that person too is concerned about you then everything be fine but what if not...? Irrespective of any relationship, either life-partners, siblings, friends, etc.. if there is no mutual respect, attraction or attachment, I swear that's time to rethink. 

I was brought up by my grandparents and unlike newer generation, I have been given an upbringing where relationships is valued more than anything else in life. May be I have gone into this concept so deeper to accept this fast paced lifestyle where people are so concerned only about material accomplishments. They have less time to appreciate others, to understand people who are considering them their own. 

Often times, I feel, I get connected with people so easily (an advantage of being an extrovert), some become very close to my heart, i will try to be with them and help them. But never realise taking someone closer to our heart doesn't mean they too take us that way. People mind set is so different and difficult at times to understand. Many times we get hurt and disappointed by the people we love the most and it's too difficult to cope up with such disappointments. 

Nevertheless, life must go on. It's better to have no expectations from anyone. Recently I learned from my own experiences that assuming things and expecting something are the two greatest obstacles which can ruin our both emotional and physical status. It's okay if someone is not considering us important and it doesn't mean we must stop thinking good for them. If someone is not able to realise that true affection is the rarest of the rare case in this world, we can only pity on them.

Only with some people we get a feel that they are going to be with for us  for the eternity. We can feel that kind of a comfort only with them. We will never get a chance to regret even for a moment in their company. This reminds the words of Dr. Brain Weiss, "To see and appreciate the soul of others with whom you are in a relationship is a higher state of awareness. To see only their outer characteristics provides a limited and incomplete perspective. Their current personality, just like their current physical body, is a temporary manifestation. They have had many bodies and many personalities but only one enduring soul, only one continuous spiritual essence. See this essence and you will see the real person".

Often we may feel why we haven't been appreciated by the ones whom we think are close to us. It may be because they don't possess that connect with us. In such circumstances, I come back to check other social networks and feel delighted to see so many people appreciating others around for their work. May be we forget to see good things near us and avoid the close ones. Perceptions of people can't hide the real potential of Individuals.

Let's forget about appreciations, still keep giving the best to others. Let's get disregarded, still keep them close in our hearts. Let's get blocked, still flow with full of love for them. Let's get ignored, but never feel low and give just love, because at last "Only Love Is Real".

- Suganthi Sankaran

Live Positive Way

With a deep sense of respect to you Siddharth, I started writing this review for your book. I must admit that I got really thrilled when I received your personal message asking me for my feedback about your book, when so many celebrities and great personalities are doing it for you. Thanks a lot for making me  a chosen one.

My heartfelt gratitude to your parents, who had helped you to become what you are today. Unlike some parents who look at their children only as a source of old age support and shift all responsibilities on their shoulders, the sacrifices that your parents have made with unconditional love gave me goosebumps. In spite of so many struggles and challenges they ensured that you get a quality life. My humble pranams to them. Of course, they are 'the proud parents' of our Siddharth - who inspired and continues to inspire so many people around.

Here, I would like to share some of my fond memories associated with you. I vividly remember asking my brother, Manikandan Sankaran (your colleague in ACES Doc-Check Team) about you. I was elated to know that you check more documents compared to other Doc-Checkers of your team. Once I came to your department to handover some urgent LC Documents for checking and that was the first time I saw you (not closely though). I was really amazed seeing you working on your desk keeping the papers spread, well organised and checking them so systematically. I immediately got so inspired seeing you and I am happy to be in touch with you through social media and got opportunity to share about you in my blog page on a few occasions.

Being a motivator, positive thoughts blogger, at times, I too feel the need of getting inspired. Your book provided a much needed motivation and I am inspired by the way you have grown from strength to strength. After reading your book I feel happy to know you even more personally now. Truly touched to know each and every individual in your life who had been your support. I salute you. I must say it shows your grateful attitude to include everyone in your book since once they grow, its a general tendency of the people to forget those who supported in their difficult times. To me--- as a special educator----your book has planted so many insights about Cerebral Palsy and what sort of challenges they face and how we can support them. As you have corrected said "society is still the same and I wish it changes"...., people have lost total awareness of respecting other individuals' space. I realise I have a greater responsibility to educate myself more in that front and reach out to others and create awareness. Your book has pushed me out of my comfort zone now and inspiring me to aspire to do greater things for the society as a whole.

I loved the way you have expressed your beautiful relationship with Dr. Kalam, who is an undoubted inspiration to all of us. You are 'Special' since you are his 'Dear Friend'. I strongly believe he continues to lead you as your guiding spirit.

Awesome to know you took those thrilling late night bike rides, that too at 90Kmph..... wish I could do that being a bike ride lover.

I appreciate your indomitable will, for, every challenge you faced, you came up with a solution. That's I guess Siddharth's spirit... Isn't it? People generally quit taking just one or two chances, but you don't quit that easily. 

I will keep reading your book again and again from now on and drive doses of inspiration whenever I need and going to keep a rack empty in my library to fill in with your future books. This is just a start. "Simply Being Sidds" is going to be the best seller soon and the next book will come out with a tag, "from the Bestseller Author - Siddharth Jayakumar's---".

As a contemporary employee of ABN AMRO ACES, it was so nostalgic for me to come across the names of other colleagues, to see their photographs, to read about them and to look at you through their lens. Thank you Siddharth & your co-author Ms. Umashree Raghunath for this wonderful ride. For me this book is already a Bestseller and I request you to keep writing more, speak more, inspire more and more....

Wishing you all success and requesting other fellow bloggers, followers, friends and relatives to grab this book and read it to get inspired more and blossom in life!

Feeling so happy sharing this post. Thank you everyone for reading this!

- Suganthi Sankaran

Simply Being Sidds

Live Positive Way

Life at times throws most difficult challenges upon us. We may wonder how to tackle them or how to escape from them? 

There may be no choices even. Only option may be to take chances and face them either boldly or with fear.

The result of our decision may turn out to be as anticipated, a positive result or it may be otherwise.

When you try to follow your dreams, sailing in the serene tide, sudden storm can change your whole sail still you have no choices but to sail anyway.

I often feel that people chase love and affection... Hey you are not alone, many will be in your league, but unconditional love has become so conditional today in this world. 

For ladies out there, I 'know' for sure that you wish to be recognized for all the work you do for your loved ones? Right? You will be ready to even break a rock to prove people---especially your in-laws---that you are worth for appreciation.. How rude? how can you expect it? Aren't you an outsider for them? 

You may fall sick, you may be alone, you may be upset or even depressed, but you have to be alive and kicking.... that's the expectation.

To add to the failures, pressures, stress at home and at your workplace, we face so many questions posed by the society.....

Why you didn't score well in your studies?

How can you cope up without a professional degree? 

Are you still searching for a job? 

You getting aged...why don't you get married? 

You are married for more than a year now but why no child yet? 

Just got one baby, when are you planning for the next one? 

You look so modern for your age? 

How can you sing loud at this age, that too new Bollywood numbers? 

You look thin still going for your fitness class? 

You are obese do something?....

Oh God! How many negative phrases! Oops I got tired typing them all. Believe me not to demotivate you my dear peeps! When you face something like this and feel pushed to the corner...still don't lose hope in this fabulous journey called LIFE. 

Remember, everything will come & pass but Only Love Is Real (courtesy Dr. Brain Weiss)! That's the true vehicle which will takes us safely in this pleasant ride. You may find my statement contradicting to my previous one when I said unconditional love has become conditional now........but some are blessed with unconditional love too. You think you aren't getting it? Come on, why do we need such unconditional love to be received when we can give it to someone? 

Love yourself! That way you feel full of life. It will radiate million lights & fill your dear ones hearts and life. Love your family, friends, work and whatever good things you do. Live your life to the fullest. Don't worry about those questions. Dance like a mad man, sing like a fool, look young, stay fit, it's your life take control of it. Be a savior of love, spread love! You may face many hindrances. Never mind.. keep going. Only love is real and it's the path to your eternity.

“There is nothing more beautiful than the way the ocean refuses to stop kissing the shoreline, no matter how many times it is sent away”. 

Love your life this way!

I got motivated reading these lines today & the result is all that you read now! I keep getting mails, comments from my friends and well-wishers encouraging me to keep posting my thoughts! I feel so  blessed to be appreciated by you all! Keep reading my blogs great souls! Will be back soon!

Stay positive always!!

- Suganthi Sankaran

Live Positive Way

That's a book written by my friend who changed the challenges into an inspiring journey.... 

I have got my copy to know him more & you book yours to get motivated....I am sure about the book becoming a Bestseller soon!

#Amazon
https://www.amazon.in/dp/194734983X/ref=cm_sw_r_fa_awdo_t2_ganSzb7E6JPEY

Live Positive Way

This is not a blog post that was planned, but rather a sudden outburst of sad feeling that I got after I saw a news on TV.

It was about a 7 years old girl, who was studying in Class 1. She downloaded the infamous "Blue Whale" game to play as she was forced to do so by her seniors (studying in 3rd & 4th grade) in the school. Another channel at the same time was flashing a similar news about a teenager who committed suicide after playing this game of challenge, which has "Suicide & Win" as the last challenge. I was totally shocked watching the news.

I am not able to understand what those parents were doing? I believe, all such problems arise only when the parents build pressure on their children to become, 'the topper' in academics, cocurricular and extra curricular activities to 'prove' to world that they are simply superb and smart.... but why? As part of this effort, parents expose even small kids to "smart(?) phones" and other gadgets. What is the need of giving a smart phone to young children and encourage them to play addictive games. Let me declare here, no games are downloaded in my mobile phone nor I make my child play them. I feel, there is no 'pride' in telling others that "my child is smart enough to play video games or online games well". 

We quite often see parents who are 'busy' with their own life & they are always happy to give their kid a phone or any gadget to keep them engaged, but they don't realise that they are isolating their kids. There are some parents who happily say---referring to the inappropriate adult talk that their kids indulge in---"my child is much matured than his peer group"?!! Why the child needs to be matured...let the child be a child...let them enjoy their life, doing all the possible silly and mischievous stuff at home,...let them play in the ground, have silly fights, sustain minor injuiries, feel a hurt & learn how to get over it. This will prepare them to face challenges of life with confidence. We, the parents, expect our kids to excel in everything, force them too much, make them feel as if they are at 20 when they are hardly 10 years old or even younger than that. It is surprising to see parents push the kids to participate in so many 'stupid children reality shows' telecasted in television channels. They even applaud the kids without realising that the kids are talking inappropriate dialogues at a tender age. The way the reality shows run for children in television is certainly a nightmare to me.  

Parents working hard and sacrificing many of their 'needs and wants' to raise their children in a special protective environment that will help them succeed in life, but the billion dollar question is, are we heading in the correct direction? Can money, luxury and exposure to technology alone be enough for moulding them for the happy and successful future?

When I travel back to my school days, I vividly remember the moral science classes that we used to have once in a week. At that point in time, we felt it is a great class only because we don't need to write anything and hence simply enjoy the class, but now, I feel, it was a good learning exercise and we did learn more about moral values subconsciously. Today there is no such hour in many schools. Thanks to the overwhelming commitment displayed by the parents who are more bothered about 'marks' rather than 'morals'.

What is the use of such an education? Is this predicament because of our (parents) care or carelessness? Think about it friends. Let's educate our children to become a 'self confident person', who is capable of 'appreciating life' and have some 'moral values'. Let them not excel in playing such terrific online games. Of course, in this digital age, it is essential for kids to get an exposure to technology, but in a positive manner. They can use many educational games available online. There are age-appropriate education games too. Please take some time out to sit with your children and help them realise what is more important to them in life. Never get carried away by their trantums​, remember, you are the parent! Make it a point to engage them in some extracurricular activities. Be their friend so that they will get back to you for their emotional needs rather than taking recourse to electronics gadgets or drugs to vent out their stress. Be assertive yet sensitive & receptive. 

Please believe that, we are the ones who are going to take responsibility for building a better future for our children and the nation.

Take care of your child!! All the best!

- Suganthi Sankaran

Live Positive Way

"There are millions of individuals whom we come across in life, but, we admire only a very few".

I used to be an ardent follower of cricket--thanks to match-fixing episodes--I lost all the interest and hopes in cricket. Then came Dhoni into picture, even then, I don't remember watching many matches under his captaincy, except for the India Vs Srilanka World Cup 2011 finals. While watching that match after many years, felt an immense pleasure of watching an extra ordinary cricket. Thanks to Dhoni for instilling interest back in me. From the moment he won the much deserved "World Cup", I started seeing him as a player who can save the country's pride. 

To me, except Sachin Tendulkar none other cricketer was famous in Tamilnadu for a long long time. With CSK 20/20 matches I could sense that my Tamilnadu folks started admiring Dhoni so much and even call him "Thalaiva", which we use only for our "Rajnikanth". That much was his popularity​. If someone should become so close to people than of course something special must be with him. I was just wondering what it could be? The question in my mind was well answered by the movie 'M.S. Dhoni'. Not all movies are meant for commercial success alone, some touches our heart. One such film is 'M.S. Dhoni' and I can't resist myself from seeing it again and again. 

My presumption is that a film on any popular personality can't be purely on fictitious characters and events, some amount of authenticity must be there to portray the life and growth of that Individual. In 'M.S. Dhoni' (movie), his attitude and his approach to life are very lucidly picturised by the director. So after watching the movie I felt that he is a guy who is very simple, crystal clear, and assertive in taking right decisions at the right time. For somebody else, if placed in similar scenario, it will not be easy to take such tough decisions during tough times. On the whole, he always played only for his country and never for his individual record. He paved way for his juniors at the right time, unlike many of his seniors in the field of cricket. He always seem to be contented with what he has. We, having come from a middle class family are able to relate to few of his life incidences. One such scene with which I relate well is the way he boards the train to come back to his hometown throwing away his TC job. One fine morning, in a similar fashion I left my job that I did in a central government institution in Delhi and boarded the train to Chennai with no clue about what's going to happen tomorrow. When I saw the scene in the movie for the first time, I was awestruck. He is just like us, like a friend, a brother or a person-next-door.

I shared my thoughts some time back in my facebook page, which read as "Generally people who live & help others or serve the country never earn much fame or name compared to those who are selfish & calculative. The so called 'God of Cricket' fans may not accept my opinion, but, every time I watch M.S.Dhoni film I feel that the title suits Dhoni more...." I really mean it. 

Dhoni is... and will be... my favourite Batsman/Captain forever! 

Feeling good sharing this thought with you all and I am sure you will like this post.

A post dedicated to all Dhoni fans!!

Live Positive Way

Wishing everyone a Happy Independence Day!

We have stepped into 71st year of our Independence. I got many Independence Day messages today and the one that I liked very much is this..

"31 States

1618 Languages

6490 Castes

6 Religions​

6 Ethnic groups

29 Major festivals

& 1 Country!

Be proud to be an Indian!!"

In spite of such diversities we stand united and that's our power. Independence day and Republic day are the two big national celebrations during which we come together to celebrate.

When we stand high and united, when other countries are surprised to see our unity, then why do we shy away from being part of the celebrations? Let's always take part with full enthusiasm in our flag hoisting ceremonies.

Our sleep can wait for a while, television telecast is there everyday, please step out and take part in the success, for, we made it happen.

Why we feel hesitant to raise our hand to place near our chest while taking the Indian National Pledge? Let's do it with pride​ and not feel ashamed. It's a pledge you taking for yourself.

Sing it! Sing it loud!! It's our National Anthem! Why to feel shy when we are a special part of this amazing nation which always stays unselfish, shelters millions of refugees, forgives everyone​ who raises illogical comments passed​ on it and grows taking along the rest of the world with it!

Let's feel proud to be an Indian!

Step ahead!!

Jaihind!!!

Live Positive Way

Hello everyone!

I went into hibernation for a while (ofcourse not like Doraemon who gets into the special hibernation device, but in my own house) and now back to blogging! Huh....!

You know it is tough to be a counselor on one hand and to stay motivated on the other hand all the time. Though I can help others to reconnect with happiness/solace, taking all their tensions into my head tosses off at times, especially if I get to face some challenges in my personal life. Suddenly the thought of "Nothing lasts forever" kept lingering in my mind and dragged me so much into it.

We keep saying, 'my love is forever', 'forever friendship', 'lived happily forever and ever..'.  But the fact is 'nothing lasts forever'.  'Crushes' die fast, deep soulmate sort-of relationship too end with a smallest argument, relationships​ fade with the passage of time since out of sight is out of mind..., "forever friends" tag will just reduce to a 'tag' in Facebook postings; ofcourse friends will stay with us for a long time but time & space here can play a crucial role to make them move away from each other.

We get attached emotionally to a few places and people. Parting ways with them becomes vividly difficult. This shows that we are at times scared of changes. We might have thought that they will be with us forever and suddenly some change comes and drift us away (life is the biggest mystery). We may not be ready for those changes and million questions will pop-up in our mind.... 

• Will​ I be able to cope up?
• Will this be for a betterment?
• Can I stay happy with this change?
• Why it's always me?.... etc...etc..

Frankly speaking all these are more like a cliche, rewound & played again and again in my mind which led to my hibernation.

Today after a long time being left all alone, I was able to bring myself back to the state of contentment with the thought, "if happiness and peace are not forever, then even the sudden change and new challenges won't stay forever". Life is like a dream and the moments slips through our fingers super fast. My tiny tot grew up so fast but I still travel back in time when I watch her giving me the first kiss in the video that was taken when she was hardly 7 months old.

People leave even after they promised years of togetherness, hair fades, weather keep changing, even the political parties with rich heritage vanish (thanks to so-called youth icons), everything constantly keeps​ changing and force us to accept them.

The only thing that I feel will be forever is our own attitude, the constant push that we give ourselves to face the changes and to stay positive. Having an​ attitude of being happy, calm and at peace even in the toughest phases of life can keep us afloat of all the negativities. So always stay positive and happy by reinventing yourself all the time.

To wrap up the blog, here comes an apt quote by Marilyn Monroe :

“Nothing lasts forever, so live it up, drink it down, laugh it off, avoid the drama, take chances and never have regrets, because at one point everything you did was exactly what you wanted.”

- Suganthi Sankaran

Live Positive Way

It is a long pending blog post, that I always wished to pen down. Being a 'Positive thoughts blogger' I can't miss to write about something which is closely connected to it......that's "Mumbai"!  For me its my second home but closer to my heart than my hometown. 

Some say life in Mumbai is a roller coaster but for me its a bliss to stay in this wonderful city. The city which never sleeps, ever active and highly accommodative. 

Nowadays, in most places people are isolated....many who stay in apartments...doesn't even know their neighbours. Mumbai is one city wherein people come together, organise social gatherings to celebrate. Not just festivals but also national events throughout the year. This city teaches every single person how to 'celebrate' life. Even in their fast-paced life, they come together and share their time. In spite of over crowded public transport --- especially local trains --- they are still on time to office. When I was working there, I use to wonder how come all are able to be present, that too 10 minutes prior to their regular reporting time. Have tried on a few instances to go first but in vain. Its the Mumbai atmosphere which makes everyone incredibly active. Whoever stays there becomes super fast. It is the positive vibe that people spread out in Mumbai which infects everyone who comes there to live. 

Everything has a system in itself in Mumbai. They follow an unique order of acquiring seat in the running local trains. There is a hidden rule to how to get in, how to stand and how to get down from the train. Once you get used to it, then the local train journey becomes the most pleasant experience for you. People share their lives in train. Some group will be chanting bhajans, some sharing their breakfast, some having lively chats with their 'Mooh boli' behan/bhais.

You might have heard of many unfortunate events faced by Mumbaikars but their unity lifts them above any tragedy. Even a stranger pitches in during the time of crises and the way they help each other that we cannot experience even with our siblings.

Being an authentic cosmopolitan city, you can get anything and everything here and hence can never feel out of place. 

Mumbai is the only place in India where you can pick any litres of milk at anytime. The vegetable/fruit vendors won't compromise their customers for a few extra grams of vegetable/fruit that they can save. Everywhere its #PeopleFirst.

I used to stay in this beautiful city for three years. With my infant baby I was able to manage everything alone which is otherwise difficult in other cities. Be it a visit to a grocery shop or doctor or temple or a mall, 24/7 autos are available and at a very fair-fare! First time when I travelled I was amazed to know that I will be charged only ₹9/- after my ride. To add on to this I got surprised to receive my ₹1/- change back from the driver. That's Mumbai! You can travel even in very late hours in Mumbai and its safe!

May be I am not lucky enough to stay there for more than three years and I left that place with tears rolling on my cheeks and I am longing to relocate there anytime when a good opportunity arises.

Some say there are two types of people in Mumbai, one who loves it to the core and who hates it so much. I feel if you are an extrovert you will only love this amazing city. Fortunately, I never got to know anyone so far who hates Mumbai and never mind, if I even come across someone, I will get back to my 'Mumbai Ambassador's role' (few of my friends call me that way :) ) and make them love Mumbai!

I happen to visit Mumbai again a few days back and every time I go there I fall in love with this city. There are many things about Mumbai to mention but may be in my future blogs. 

Oh...oooo.... I forgot.............!

Dear Ladies, If you happen to shift to Mumbai don't hesitate and don't worry. Home-maid service is available round the clock in one & only Mumbai! They will even come to your house at 11-11.30pm to help you clean your stuff and you can start your next day afresh....Doesn't it sound good???!!!!!

Visit Mumbai at least once to get that magical feel!

Love you always Mumbai! "Aamchi Mumbai......"

Happy reading! Stay positive!

Live Positive Way

Friedrich Nietzshe, a German Philosopher said, 'Without music, life would be a mistake'. I prefer to read it as 'Without music, life wont be a journey worth doing. 

Life gives us a peaceful pause ....then again throw some new challenges. We really need something which can push us and keep us going and that's music!  Not just for me its for everyone. I always ask people I come across whether they love listening to music? If they say no, I will surely wonder how they are able to survive without music. 

I am not commenting about any specific form of music but music as such. Be it vocal or instrumental, traditional or modern, soft or metalic but some music. I listen to all these forms....from devotional song to fast beat Bollywood numbers, from instruments to high pitch folk songs, not just Hindi, Tamil & English but Spanish, Latin and Portuguese.... which I cannot understand much. It ranges from M.S. Subbulakshmi, Yesudas, Jagjit.....Sonu, Enrique to Pitbull. 

The peace and contentment the music gives cannot be gained from anything in life.  In my other blog about 'Hobbies', I mentioned that our hobbies can be connected emotionally with some situation and person.  Music as a hobby does it more intensely. I can't remember even vaguely from when I started listening to music but I can't be without music. Its association has been with me at the times of my success & failure, gain & loss. It is with me when I am in love or even when I am ignored. Music witness all my studies, be it writing a home work, record work or paper submission or studying for my exams, I need it to travel with me. Cooking, cleaning or rest... I need it to play along with me. If its not through speakers, earphones at least my lips will involuntarily murmur some song or other.. To be precise, it is with me 24/7.  

I am blogging this not to make others feel how much I love music but to stress on the point that how music can be a morale booster and give us a positive drive, which in turn help us to stay calm and focused. Whenever I feel a bit low, it can change my mood and make me feel fresh again. Many have criticized me for keeping myself updated with new songs and lyrics. They think I am old to sing new songs being in late 30's but it keeps me young when I sing, specially the new songs. If something gives us pleasure and fulfilment why not we keep doing it? Its you who gonna decide how you have to be and not others. If you think your favourite activities can keep u going just do it without hesitation. Age is always no bar to stay happy. I love elderly people listening to songs with HiFi sound systems. I feel even more motivated. Music can improvise our personal grooming standards too. Additional advantage is that it can motivate us to dance, which is again good for health. 

If you have missed the habit of listening to music, just try to start catching up with it. Spend quality time for yourself....work, house,  tensions can wait for a while..... Enjoy your life before its too late. Stay happy!

Please don't stop the music... 

♩♪♫♬♯🎼🎼🎼♩♪♫♬♯🎼....
- Suganthi Sankaran