Live Positive Way - The 3Ps!

 Live Positive Way - The 3Ps!

कर्मण्येवाधिकारस्ते मा फलेषु कदाचन।

मा कर्मफलहेतुर्भूर्मा ते सङ्गोऽस्त्वकर्मणि॥ 

Karmanye Vadhika Raste Ma Phaleshu Kadachana

Ma Karma Phala He Tur Bhuh Ma Te Sangotsva Karmanye

You have only the right to work and never expect its fruits.

Let the fruits of action not be your motive, nor let your attachment be to inaction.

------------------------------

I recently read about the "90–10 formula". Everywhere people talk about it in different ways. The 90/10 formula states that 10% of our life is made up of what "happens to us" and 90% of our life is determined by "our reaction to" what happened to us. But when I thought about it more, I felt something else.

Life always revolves around three things, at least for me - 'places, people and personal choices'. These three continue to resurface in my life.

Places change often in my life. "Where are you these days?" asks my friends who are well aware of me. To be honest, I dislike moving to a new location. In the beginning, I feel restless, uncomfortable, and even unhappy. But slowly that place grows on me. I get used to it, I start enjoying it, and finally I get attached to it. Then all of a sudden, life takes me away again. I am now familiar with the cycle, first I resist, then I settle, then I love it, and then I have to leave.

People are also like that. We get connected deeply with only a few, though we get acquainted with many. Out of those, some people who came into my life said 'they will always stay with me', ‘forever’? But except one, almost all have either gone far away or are no longer in touch. Some are only occasionally in touch, and some are completely out of my world. At first it felt heavy; I wondered why they left. But later I realised this is how life works. People come, people go. Nothing remains permanent.

Even personal choices change. I was once a person who loved being in the middle of a crowd. I enjoyed gatherings, the laughter, and the energy of so many people around. But today I prefer 'peace'. I love quiet moments, clean surroundings, and very few people near me. My own personality has gradually changed, and sometimes I wonder how and why. In actuality, we don't stay the same.

So why does all this keep happening? I now believe that we have no control over anything in this universe, not even 'our own thoughts'. We wish, we plan, we decide, but finally most of it does not happen the way we want it happen. I feel, 90 percent of life is determined by the Almighty, and only 10 percent is left to us. Be it getting a job, searching for a life partner, moving to a new city, or even raising a child—we are only playing our little part. We simply act as facilitators. The real 'doer' is above us.

Some may not agree with this idea. Atheists may say there is no god. But even then, you cannot deny that Nature takes over and controls the outcome. Circumstances, environment, timing—these things are stronger than our efforts. Therefore, 90% of the work is done by it/them, whether you refer to them as God or Nature and only 10 percent is in our hands.

What are we going to do with that ten percent? Well, we must give our 100 percent of our effort to that small portion of 10 percent. Whatever little is in our hands, we must do it with a full heart. Whether it is meeting new people, visiting new places, or even the smallest daily routines, do it sincerely. Be present, be true, be yourself.

And why do we claim so much credit when we only own 10%? Why do we constantly keep saying things like "I made that happen," "I did this," and "I helped you, so you must thank me"? We demand gratitude or rewards for even the smallest deeds. We must keep in mind that we are merely tools.

This is where Krishna’s words come back to us. He has already given the answer in the Bhagavad Gita:

कर्मण्येवाधिकारस्ते मा फलेषु कदाचन।

मा कर्मफलहेतुर्भूर्मा ते सङ्गोऽस्त्वकर्मणि॥

Karmanye Vadhika Raste Ma Phaleshu Kadachana

Ma Karma Phala He Tur Bhuh Ma Te Sangotsva Karmanye

You have only the right to work and never expect its fruits.

Let the fruits of action not be your motive, nor let your attachment be to inaction.

Do your karma. Don’t cling to the results. When I accept this, life looks very simple. No more holding onto people, no more crying over places, no more fear of change, no more stress about results. Everything becomes lighter. Change will keep coming, and we cannot stop it. If we accept it and embrace it, life becomes beautiful. Therefore, let us make the most of the ten percent that has been allotted to us. Do everything with love, do it honestly, and let the rest unfold on its own.

Stay happy and stay positive! - Suganthi Sankaran

Live Positive Way—Empowering Women: Beyond Traditional Roles

Live Positive Way—Empowering Women: Beyond Traditional Roles

Yesterday, I had an extraordinary opportunity to interact with a remarkable group of women—the wives of our brave army officers. My sincere pranams to these incredible women and a salute to the courageous officers for their unmatched dedication and sacrifice.

Since I had the honour of giving a speech about women's empowerment, I wanted to share its written version with all of you, my dear readers. I am thankful to my sister Shanthi for suggesting my name for this speech. So here are the gist of the details I spoke. 

 

In Indian culture, women are seen as Shakti, symbolising strength, confidence, and freedom—the powers to make decisions, pursue passions, and shape their future while being respected in every role. To me, empowerment means having the strength, confidence, and freedom to make life decisions while being valued and respected at home, work, and in society. It’s not one-size-fits-all; for some, it’s financial independence, and for others, it’s having a voice or following their dreams. True empowerment is finding your path and walking it with confidence.

 

I believe empowerment begins at home. It’s not just about sharing kitchen responsibilities but also about decisions that shape the family’s future. Including women in important discussions brings fresh perspectives, empathy, and practical thinking, strengthening both women and the family as a whole.

 

Are you all aware of personal finance? Stock market? Investment options? Empowering women through financial independence boosts their confidence and ability to face challenges. Whether through a job, business, or saving wisely, financial freedom gives women control and security.

 

In today’s world, technology has become a powerful tool for empowerment. With just a smartphone and an internet connection, women can learn new skills, start businesses, and connect with people across the world. They are offering online tuition, baking classes, and even fitness training. Many women are learning new skills through online courses and YouTube tutorials. Technology has broken barriers, making it possible for women to work from home while managing their families.

 

We all know women are natural multitaskers. From managing households to handling jobs, from caring for children to supporting their communities, women juggle many roles effortlessly. But what makes women truly special is their emotional strength and empathy. Women have the ability to connect with others on a deeper level, which makes them excellent leaders, carers, and problem-solvers.

 

Empowerment doesn’t always have to be about big achievements. Sometimes, it’s the small steps that make a difference: teaching your children to respect women and supporting other women in your community. Above all, taking time for your own growth, your mental health, and your physical well-being matters.

 

Stress is an unavoidable part of life, especially for women juggling multiple roles as carers, professionals, and individuals with their own dreams. Managing stress begins with acknowledging your emotions and setting boundaries to protect your well-being. Take time to nurture yourself—whether it’s a short walk, a moment of mindfulness, or pursuing a hobby you love. Surround yourself with supportive people and remember, asking for help is strength, not weakness. Prioritising your well-being empowers you and brings positivity to those around you.

 

To sum it up, women are the backbone of families, communities, and society. Whether we are managing a home, pursuing a career, or starting a business, we have the strength and determination to make a difference. Empowerment is about recognising this power and supporting each other to shine brighter.

 

At the same time, I would like to remind all the wonderful women here that while performing so many roles and responsibilities, never forget about you. Take time for your own well-being, find moments of “me-time,” and nurture your hobbies and passions. The little acts of self-care are not selfishness but absolutely self-love.

 

As a positive thoughts blogger, I truly believe this: God always holds His hand in a blessing gesture, saying “Tathasthu”—meaning "So be it." Whether we speak positively or negatively, He affirms it equally. That’s why it’s so important to think positive, speak positive, and stay positive. After all, our words and thoughts shape our reality. Come on; let’s create a world where every woman feels respected, valued, and unstoppable. 

Happy Women’s Day!

-Suganthi Sankaran

A tribute 🙏

Knowing well that the words that I am penning down are not sufficient enough to describe how difficult it is to lose someone whom we love so dearly, yet I am doing this to share my feelings through words.

He was extremely kind, caring, and loving. From young to old, he loved his family so much that they all wanted to spend time with him. I feel myself blessed to have a special bond with him.

Since my childhood, I remember him as a gigantic personality. I was too small then. He was the first one to take me on innumerable bike rides, which developed an interest in long bike rides in me. I still remember the way I used to sit behind him and hold him tight with my tiny hands, of course struggling to get around his gigantic tummy yet enjoying those long rides.

On one occasion, we were unable to celebrate 'Diwali' (since it was customary in families to abstain from performing rituals for certain reasons). But it was relaxed for the kids at home. The fact that I couldn't get a new dress and crackers made me quite unhappy. However, to my great surprise, Mama unexpectedly brought home new cloth material for all of us along with sweets and savouries. It was pouring 'dogs and cats' that day, but I remember rushing to a nearby tailor to stitch the dress material he got me. I still remember vividly the green dress that he brought me for Diwali. In addition, he took us to his house to celebrate Diwali, as we were unable to do it at home that year. A special Diwali to me indeed.

Later, I moved and stayed at his house for a short while to study. I still think of those days as the best times of my childhood. He used to look after me really nicely. His entire family still adores me, not just him. The Diwalis I celebrated at his place were the times I used to burst bundles of crackers since he was the only one who could get me so much of whatever I wished to burst.

He became more like a guide and friend to me as I grew older, letting me express what I felt. He supported me on multiple occasions and helped me get over some of the challenges I encountered in high school. His love for me has never changed in any circumstance, and his bonding with my parents too. He never allowed the normal qualms that exist between elders in the family to impact his love for me. The love that he had for me was so much that I was always addressed by him as 'thangam', 'chellam' until the last video conversation that we had a couple of days before he left for his heavenly abode.

He used to be there for me through thick and thin and has never missed a celebration in my life. There are so many beautiful memories with him that will last for a lifetime. 

As a traditional person in his outlook who never allowed his own daughter to wear a salwar kameez, he compromised that for me and permitted me to wear a salwar kameez, which was new and trending in those days. He used to call me 'sundeli' (rat) fondly since I kept moving freely and happily at his place during my stay. There were times when we sang songs to relax, and he would surprise me by singing the new songs of that time. He was loved by many, and always someone was around him at home fondly calling him 'Appa' since he was guiding and helping many irrespective of their caste or creed.

This tribute can go on forever since there are so many fond memories to share. Not only I miss him dearly, but my husband and child too miss him, as he has made a home for himself in their hearts. Periya Mama's house, I guess, is the only place where my husband stays comfortably for days during vacations since that is the way his entire family welcomes him. I'm sure his place will remain a 'go-to place' for me forever since his family carries forward his legacy of welcoming everyone wholeheartedly. We will miss his kindness and his smile, which are indelibly stamped in my memory and my heart. 

We will meet again in another dimension or in another lifetime, mama; until then, may Bhagwan Krishna keep you safe in his lotus feet. 

Love you, Periya Mama! - Suganthi Sankaran (Vidya for him)

Live Positive Way - 5 Transformative Steps for a Positive Life

Live Positive Way - 5 Transformative Steps for a Positive Life

Hello everyone,

It's been a while since I posted my last blog, and I wanted to share some important updates with you all. Though I've always strived to maintain a positive outlook, I found myself going through some changes in life that kept me away from blogging. But now, I'm back. Feeling better than ever. Here are the five key changes I made to my routines that helped me turn things around:

Broke-free from Tea Addiction
 
Tea has always been my "comforting drink", especially during my hectic workdays. However, I began to notice that my dependency on tea was affecting my health badly. Determined to break free from it and to remind myself that there is no addiction in life that we cannot overcome, I abruptly stopped drinking tea one fine morning and explored other healthier alternatives, like taking milk or just plain water whenever I felt the urge to drink something. The transition was challenging, though, but the rewards are worth the try. My energy levels stabilized, morning sickness disappeared, which I used to have due to the acidic tea doses, I slept better, and I felt more in control of my health.

Prioritizing 'People Who Need Me'
 
In the rush of daily life, it is easy to lose sight of what truly matters—our relationships. I realized that I was often too busy to be fully present for the people who I loved, rather than those who really needed me and gave me an important position in their lives. Instead of wondering why people I liked more do not care much about me, I started shifting my focus to those who needed me and gave me value in their lives. Simple actions like having regular chats with them, spending quality time with friends, or simply lending a listening ear to someone in need have made a significant difference to my life. Prioritizing these connections has strengthened my bonds and enriched my life in more ways than I imagined.
 
Revamping My Daily Routine
 
Our 'life routines' shape our day-to-day experiences, and sometimes a little shake-up can do wonders. I decided to revamp my daily routine by incorporating activities that align with my passions and goals. This included my days with meditation, light exercise, and daily exploration of a new place on the internet, which set a positive tone for the day. I also made time for reading and pursuing hobbies that I loved. This change in my routine not only boosted my productivity but also made my days more fulfilling and less monotonous. It's amazing how small adjustments can lead to a significant improvement in the overall well-being of our life.
 
Adopting new habits
 
Habits define us, and adopting positive ones can lead to profound changes. For example, I started practising gratitude prayer daily, adding a few more religious prayers of my choice, which has also helped me maintain a positive outlook. Though I always keep journaling and reflecting on my thoughts, I have started doing it regularly, and this has been incredibly therapeutic. These new habits have had a profound impact on my mental and physical health, making me feel more balanced and centered.
 
Embracing Something New Every Day
 
Life can become monotonous if we don't challenge ourselves to step out of our comfort zones. I committed myself to trying something new each day, no matter how small it is. Be it, cooking a new recipe, exploring a different route for my walk, or learning a few words in a new language, these small adventures have kept my life exciting and my mind engaged. Embracing the 'new and unfamiliar' has reignited my curiosity and zest for life, making each day 'a little more' special.
 
By implementing these changes, I’ve found greater peace, joy, and fulfillment. I can't keep such beneficial changes to myself, so I encourage you all to try implementing some of these strategies. They've truly helped me, and I believe they can help you too. Let’s keep sharing our journeys and continue to live in a positive way.
 
Stay positive,
Suganthi Sankaran
 
For more inspiration and updates, feel free to check out my blogs at https://livepositiveway.blogspot.com

Live Positive Way - 75th Republic Day

Live Positive Way - 75th Republic Day 

Today, India aka Bharat is celebrating its 75th Republic Day, which is considered to be an important historical date by us Indians. To recognise how crucial it was for our country's growth we should go back in time and examine our past.

Until the mughals and later the East India Company invaded us, 500–600 years ago, India was the world’s richest country for several thousand years. India maintained its position as the largest economy in the world for many many years, accounting for about 25% of the global GDP, which drew many invaders. These invaders systematically took away our wealth and triggered several famines, which resulted in huge starvation deaths and affecting half the population. Eventually, from 25% India's GDP slipped to 1%. Also, the british systematically manipulated our education system and its content in such a way that we were made to believe that we were a poor nation and that we are neither cultured nor civilized. However, a number of research articles and books published in the recent past indicate that for several centuries India was a richest nation in the world in terms of both wealth, culture and civilisational advancements.

When the British left India, they challenged that India will disintegrate in no time since India had more than 200 samasthanas (individual kingdoms) and it would be very difficult to stay united since each samasthana had its own policies, currencies, and way of living. They were proven wrong by the great leader Sardar Vallabhai Patel, who brought all these samasthanas together to establish a single nation. Dr. Ambedkar then drafted the Indian Constitution, which officially made India a 'Republic' on this day i.e., 26 January in 1950. Today, we proudly claim to be the largest democracy in the world, having come together as a single nation and sharing all resources among our states. We have many diverse beliefs and practices but we are united as one nation. We proved to the world that கூடி வாழ்ந்தால் கோடி நன்மை (Unity is propitious).

India's economy currently ranks fifth in the world after all of this, and we will soon overtake other countries to occupy the third spot in terms of economic development. But we want India to become the top country. Our beloved Dr.APJ Abdul Kalam encouraged us to dream and see India as a superpower by 2020. Though we couldn’t achieve it fully, we are certainly on the path of becoming a world superpower. Now once again, our Honourable Prime Minister Narendra Modi has given us a vision and theme called 'Viksit Bharat@2047 (Developed India@2047), that is, on the 100th year of independence (2047), India should become a Developed Nation. Not only must we grow economically, but we also need to lead the globe in personal development, technology, innovation, infrastructure, and happiness index. Let's all together take this oath that we will see India as Viksit Bharat by 2047.

Today, as we celebrate the 75th Republic Day, we had women-centric celebrations at Delhi. A grand parade was held at Kartavya Path in the national capital, in which, for the first time, an all-women tri-services contingent participated. Women dominated the celebrations, from the all female band to the parade, tableau display, cultural activities, and the daring motorcycling show.

I consider myself extremely fortunate to take birth in this punya bhoomi, and I have no doubt that we will soon become Viksit Bharat.

I wish all my beloved countrymen a happy Republic Day! Jai Hind!-  Suganthi Sankaran 

Live Positive Way - Happy New Year 2024

Live Positive Way - That's how life goes....

Live Positive Way - That's how life goes....

At times, a 'casual conversation' can turn out to be a powerful tool that make us stay "profoundly positive". One such conversation that I had with my kid made me reevaluate how wonderful this life is and how lucky we are to be living it.

I believe it would be completely unfair to keep a good thought to myself, so let's get started.

Recently, one fine morning, when my daughter and I were on our way to school, we had the following conversation: 

"Amma, I always wanted to ask you this. I have seen you in many situations, but you always stay naughty (her way of expressing my jovial nature) and have so much fun. You get excited on even small things and carry a positive outlook. 

How is it possible? Even on those instances when people accuse you of doing something wrong, when they speak negatively about you behind your back, and even after you learn about it, you barely react? How could you handle things that way? Even if my classmate casually passes remarks about me, I become disturbed. When you say, "Just chill, baby", how do you deal with those situations yourself"?

It came as a sweet surprise to me, because, for me, she was a carefree youngster yet to comprehend the 'hard questions' of life, I never imagined my daughter would ask such a significant question. Perhaps that is what life is all about and how children grow so fast. They suddenly make us feel amused. 

Nevertheless, I never miss even the smallest opportunity to help my child understand "life with all its shades" and cultivate a positive approach, so my reply was as follows:

"Darling, there are two principles that I live by that enable me to be the person I am today. The first is, I never-ever take other people's opinions of me seriously. There were various occasions when people falsely accused me, called me names, or tried to destroy my peace, but I never surrendered to it. Since I was a young child, whenever I look at the mirror....into my own eyes, I have told myself that I am the greatest, the most beautiful, the smartest, and the one who will succeed against all odds. I always believed in those words so strongly and never accepted whatever others said. More than anything else, I had faith in myself. Always! Even now! I believe in myself, so it doesn't matter what others say or think about me. 

If someone says something, it's their opinion and their perspective, not mine, so I don't bother about it. At the end of the day, only those who deserve our presence in their lives will understand and accept us. Let others enjoy "their lives", while I lead mine peacefully.

The second principle that I belive in is that, despite having many dreams and aspirations I've never tried to bargain with my Lord Krishna. I simply carry my thoughts forth without making any specific requests to Him and I have faith that whatever He decides will be the 'best choice' for me. I trust him completely and give my 100%, in whichever zone he places me. If he takes me to a new place, I get accustomed to it. If he gives me a job, I will give my honest 100% to it. If he sends someone into my life to befriend or help them, I will give my 100% effort to strengthen that relationship. Always hold on to your relationship with God because it is crucial for knowing who you are and what you want out of this life.

Thus, I find that two things keep me content, they are believing in myself more than what other people think of me and trusting God more than what 'I think' is good for me (at a particular point in time). Neither I try to please anyone to prove myself, nor I am after something that can spoil my inner peace.

There was a long silence between us, since we both were engrossed in our fleeting thoughts after the discussion. We reached the school gate, where we parted greeting each other, "Jai Shri Krishna".

- Suganthi Sankaran 

Live Positive Way - My London Diaries!

Live Positive Way - My London Diaries!

"Yes, I’m enjoying the evolution of my desire. I feel wonderful as I stand in this place where many things that I desire have not yet come to me"! – An extract form 'Ask and It is given' by Abraham Hicks, Esther Hicks, and Jerry Hicks

I feel completely in tune with my life when I read this line. I really believe in a Tamil saying, "Nadhi vazhi payanam," which translates to "I flow like a river as life takes me" and I always look forward to the new experiences that life gives me with a positive outlook.

I have travelled far and wide in my home country India and have lived in a number of Indian cities. I have always enjoyed admiring new places and adjusting to new environment. When it comes to travelling or moving to a new location, I have always embraced it with an open mind. One such beautiful opportunity that life offered to me is my visit to London, and it is almost 3 months since I started staying here. Even though I enjoy exploring new places, I was a little hesitant to come over here because it is outside of India and I also carried some preconceived notions about other nations. However, I started off as usual to see what this stay would add/bring to my life.

My initial reaction---as my plane began to land in London---was, "Aah! What a lovely city." The lovely bird's-eye view of this city stole my heart in just a few seconds. From Chennai, I had a direct flight, and I only saw other fellow Indians in my journey. The moment I reached the immigration area, I realised there were so many people from all over the world waiting to see this city, like me. I was welcomed warmly by the staff at the airport after answering a few immigration questions. I was too tired to see the city while travelling to my home in a bus in London, but one thing I loved was the way the buses operated here and the way passengers were spiritually following the rules to enter or leave the bus.

After a few days of rest, we began visiting the city, and all of my preconceived notions, not just about London, but about any foreign country in general—transformed positively. I could see everyone just the way I am and not notice any differences. This city is also non-discriminatory. I have seen people of every origin here. From Middle-East, Asia, Africa and from European countries. It is true that while we were in various tourist areas or using public transportation, we could hear a lot of different languages. More or less everyone appeared the same compared to the way we dressed up. All were dressed simply for comfort; there was no show-offiness in their clothing or having any expensive items with them. Almost everyone travels by tube (the underground train that runs in Central London), train, tram, or bus, like me, needs to walk extensively in some areas. At times, we may be hopping in and out of trains and walking inside a railway station a lot while changing a route or rail line to reach our destination. Yes, I must admit that those who dislike walking will not find this place interesting. I must declare that the walking has improved my overall health. Here the market area (high street) is different and the residential area is well protected from the hurry-burry of business happenings. We must walk to the market even to fetch some potatoes, which serves as some form of exercise.

I prefer to always have a smile on my face when I come face-to-face with someone since I am an extrovert when it comes to engaging with new people. I used to be disappointed when certain well-known individuals occasionally neglected to reciprocate that warmth at my hometown. But, to my surprise, every time I exchange a casual smile with the people I meet face-to-face here, I am always welcomed, acknowledged and reciprocated with a warm smile. Not exaggerating at all. Perhaps because there are fewer people living here, they appreciate such kind friendly gestures.

Additionally, I observed that everyone in this place showed the highest respect for other's privacy. We frequently hear words and phrases like "Excuse me," "thank you," and "I'm sorry." Nobody pushes another person or moves too quickly. If we adhere to certain norms when travelling or exploring a place, we may prevent ourselves from upsetting anyone and providing them the value of their personal space in exchange.

All through my life, I only wished to stay in apartments since I could have people around me. However, I have to admit that I am in love with the unique row houses that are constructed in London. My heart was stolen by the manner they were built, the uniformity of the exterior designs of the houses they maintained (which resembled a painting from an aerial view of flight), and the way the surroundings were kept tidy. I wish I could own one such beautiful individual house if I stayed here for years.

I already mentioned in some of my social media posts about the unique advantage of visiting London. It's a combination of historical landmarks and modern techno-parks all in one place. I was able to recollect and revisit many of my favourite readings, and I was able to witness some of the original art work and paintings of the artists I admire in all those historical places. I was also delighted to check into some high-rise buildings to view beautiful modern architecture. I also experienced a couple of adventurous and mysterious encounters here. Every view my eyes met were picture perfect and I captured them in my heart to stay forever with me.

I preferred local vegetables and fruits instead of my usual items, and I must admit this place is rich and wealthy when it comes to food. Extensive types of bread and bakery goods are available at local supermarkets in London, along with a wide variety of fruits and vegetables from nearby nations. Overall, it's a great happening spot for foodies like me.

In addition to these, we do have some areas where there is a significant Indian population, and I could see my mandirs and other religious sites here much like they are in my country. Despite the fact that I have visited a lot of places so far in London, my list continues to grow. Still have a load of stuff to see and places to go in this huge city.

I had my own prejudices about this place but now I learned a valuable lesson on not to be judgemental about any place without experiencing it personally first-hand. I had my own perception of what it wouldn't be, but this visit totally changed my perspective, allowing me to evaluate things objectively. Earth is lovely everywhere as long as I have folks like me around. We all coexist and share things with one another, and it is up to us to always look for the good in everything.

"You can leave London, but London never leaves you," I once read. I'm hoping that this holds true for me. Thank you London for showering all the warmth and love on us. 
Despite everything I've said, I still desire to remain in India, my hometown, and my city.
मित्राणि धन धान्यानि प्रजानां सम्मतानिव |
जननी जन्म भूमिश्च स्वर्गादपि गरीयसी ||
"Friends, riches, and grains are highly honoured in this world. (But) mother and motherland are superior even to heaven." Hence, I would always like to return to my place and my tribe and be with my folks my entire life.

-  Suganthi Sankaran

Live Positive Way - Let's welcome 2023!

 Live Positive Way - Let's welcome 2023!

Live Positive Way - December Poo

 Live Positive Way - December பூ

"Flowers seem intended for the solace of ordinary humanity." John Ruskin

I always have a deep love for flowers and their aroma, because my name, "Sugandhi" means "fragrance." At times we have some choices or love for two things at a time, which may be exact opposites to each other. I am not an exception when it comes to such choices. When I like the tuberose (rajnigandha) flower's scent the most, I feel particularly linked to another flower that doesn't possess any 'scent' or 'fragrance' but has yet created wonder in my life.

That was the time when my grandparents moved away with my uncle, who was transferred to a different place, and I used to really miss my grandma. Back then, when we didn't even have landline phones or smartphones, I used to feel quite alone because I couldn't talk to my grandmother quite often, and even though Dad was my best friend, he was often away on his official trips, leaving me mostly by myself.

 We used to live in a rented house, and in those days, the apartment setup was not so popular, so a few landlords let some portion of their house or their outhouse on rent. In one such house, the landlord had a wide range of plants all over the surroundings. Flowers used to come in a variety of colours, some of which were seasonal and others were seen all through the year. The dissolution of our joint family system, as well as the changes in location, school, and atmosphere, caused me so much stress that I couldn't make any new 'good' friends. My only source of comfort was watching these vibrant flowers in the evening.

The December month became so close to my heart with the arrival of these non-fragrance flowers, which we called December poo (I don't know how it is called in English). They used to bloom in a range of colours, including light purple, blue, pink, white, and a blue and white blossom combination that looks incredibly stunning, even if they don't have a sweet aroma. The lady who owns our home saw me spending time with these beautiful flowers. She was a bit harsh with everyone but surprisingly generous with me, and one day she told me that I may pick a few flowers every day for myself while leaving a few on the plant to make it look nice. For me, that was like winning a lottery.

I used to wake up early in the morning and go straight to pluck those flowers and tie them into a garland, and I proudly wore them. I used to find it difficult to find happiness and a sense of connection with others back then, but those tiny flowers used to bring both, 'happiness' and a sense of 'connection'. It eventually helped me to overcome my gloom and gave me a great new passion for life. We used to receive them from November until the end of January, despite the fact that they are a seasonal flower for December. Winter eventually became my favourite season of the year because I looked forward to these flowers blooming there.

My childhood taught me that pleasure need not necessarily be defined by what 'we desire' or by anything that is difficult and highly challenging to obtain, but rather even the smallest of God's creations can provide us with a complete connection, a purpose for our quest, and a great delight and absolute pleasure. Now, the first thing that springs up in my mind when I think of December is those lovely flowers that bloom throughout that month. I have been anticipating December month for years now. Sadly though now I hardly see the plant anywhere near my house, I get them from the local flower market, and they still decorate my plaits. Since only tiny girls wear these flowers nowadays, my pals make fun of me, however, I always enjoy wearing them on my head.

My young readers might believe that I keep writing about my old stories; therefore, I want to reassure them that it is our past experiences and knowledge that have shaped who we are today. Back then, despite the problems and hardships we faced, we continued to look for enjoyment and fulfilment in the tiniest little things. It would be wonderful if you too could spend quality time with your parents to learn such fascinating tales about their formative years and virtually travel back in time to gain new perspectives on life.

Since I've been away from my land now, I couldn't discover my December poo this winter season after all these years, but I'm sure I'll check them again next year.

There are so many other creators (apart from humans) which live in this universe in addition to us. As fellow creatures, we are all dependent on one another, and if we can value every other fellow creature, this earth will become a lovely place to live.

I will continue to explore and admire my life, and I hope you will do the same. Keep in touch with your loved ones, cherish your memories, and remain optimistic at all times. 

Stay healthy and stay positive! - Suganthi Sankaran

Live Positive Way - FOMO? FOCO?......YOU

Live Positive Way - FOMO? FOCO?......YOU

 "My bursting heart must find vent at my pen." – Abigail Adams

The brand new days of technological advancement bring with them some new challenges that are labelled with brand new names. A recent study introduces one such acronym, "FOMO", which I believe I also personally experience occasionally and that I also observe people around me experiencing it frequently. FOMO-Fear Of Missing Out... Fear of missing out: "What"? I don't want to discuss its original meaning, which is' the anxiety over being left out of fun activities, a group of co-workers, or other family gatherings'. I, on the other hand, want to talk about the perception that 'others are having more fun and living a better life' than 'me'. I'd prefer to connect this idea of 'FOMO' directly to any exclusive one-on-one relationship that two people have.

 

In a relationship, where does this FOMO stand? Is that fear of missing the person we are dealing with? Or the fear of missing out on the care and attention we are receiving? Or the fear of missing the relationship itself? 

 

Every connection has its own initial growing period, irrespective of whether it was developed out of love, friendship, or other association. Those are the times when we talk about our personal lives, enjoy being with one another, or discuss our shared and obsessive interests, or even dislikes. It almost sounds like both the parties have made a joint commitment to uphold the 'bond' for the rest of their lives, terming it something like 'forever-bonded'. At some point in time, 'we believe' we have at last discovered someone who will always stand by our side and knows us well.

 

Our knowledge of one another may progressively increase to a point where there aren't many details left to discuss. As a result, the graph gradually starts to decline in terms of our shared time and connectivity. At this point, I believe, between the two connected people, FOMO captures the person who is emotionally 'more' connected.

 

The 'affected person' starts wondering what happened to that so-called "forever together" friendship. They may even genuinely start chasing for answers from the other counterpart for such a shift in the relationship dynamics, or they may simply begin nagging the other person who is 'ignoring him/her'. This can keep going for several days, months, or even for years, but to understand that this pattern of being left in the void is not going to change demands a lot of maturity. Many keep waiting for the occasion that can change everything back to the way it was when it all started, which will never happen (I don't intend to sound too pessimistic, but it’s a fact of life). 

 

This is when we get stuck in FOMO, it pushes us to think over all that 'was' frozen as 'lived experiences'. At this point, what people personally feel more disturbing and hurting--more than being ignored or being left out of a relationship--is the time and energy that they have invested in nurturing and developing those feelings and intricate emotional connections with that person and how it is not being reciprocated. We might have spent so much time in a relationship that we reach a stage where we will not be able to 'let-go' of it. Maybe we might have travelled too far by ignoring other things that might have given us some happiness. I believe that even in secure relationships (marriage), FOMO can arise. Fortunately, there, a discourse and discussion can occur easily, but in other situations, the counterpart won't be prepared to discuss at all since they no longer care about this connection in the same way that the other person cares about it.

 

The natural question that will come up in this circumstance is,

"What can we do then?" That's where I think the concept of FOCO or 'Fear Of COntinuing' comes in. Despite all the negative factors (without blaming anyone, of course), we try to please the one who ghosts us, or we over-think if we have done something wrong, we will be in a constant state of worry and forego all the enjoyable aspects of life. If you find yourself in such a situation, simply shake it off and reconsider. Take a break and explore your true desires. Think, are you going to continue appeasing the person who ignores you?

 

Instead of focusing on what you are missing in life, think about how you can handle it. Sincerely, I have reached a point where I believe nothing lasts forever and that if something or someone is destined to stay, it/s/he will stay regardless of our best efforts to forego it.

 

Practice self-love, self-admiration, and try to enjoy your solitude. I always keep insisting on this, and people tend to think I’m selfish. I can promise you that you are the only one who can be there for yourself, and that can never change. Why chase love and care from someone when you can give a thousand bounds to yourself? Things that last a lifetime are only memories, regardless of who comes and goes in your life. Every relationship has such beautiful moments, and coming out of a relationship doesn’t mean forgetting even those beautiful moments spent together, but nurturing those moments and keeping them archived in our minds. Some capture them as poems, some as art, some as blog posts.

 

Give yourself some time and try something new. This might reassure you that life will always offer you something better and that you are destined to experience happy moments.

 

Always remember that the space you have or had in someone’s life can never be replaced with another. The moments you remember as fond memories have the same value for the 'other' person too, since they can't deny those beautiful memories that were created by your association with them. Love your life more than anything else, and cling to whatever brings you happiness and tranquillity. Always discover love and acceptance within yourself rather than looking for them elsewhere. You are also your best critic as well as your closest friend and advisor. Therefore, the idea that you need an outside force to find what you're looking for completely disappears.

 

I conclude this blog with my Bhagawan Krishna’s quote,

 

उद्धरेदात्मनात्मानं नात्मानमवसादयेत् |

आत्मैव ह्यात्मनो बन्धुरात्मैव रिपुरात्मन: || 6.5||

 

uddhared ātmanātmānaṁ nātmānam avasādayet

ātmaiva hyātmano bandhur ātmaiva ripur ātmanaḥ (BG 6.5:)

 

Elevate yourself through the power of your mind, and do not degrade yourself, for the mind can be your friend and also your enemy.

- Suganthi Sankaran

Live Positive Way

Live Positive Way -  A small blog after a long gap

Parents' Happiness:- This raises a debatable topic between parents and children, across generations, about what really makes them happy. 

In my personal experience, I have felt that my parents felt more delighted when I made some new recipe, or something my dad's or mom's childhood favourite dish, or if I sat with my dad (especially) and served him food more often than the times I have taken him out or got some gifts for him. He used to be happier since he never felt alone when he was with me because he could be in any room at any time and talk to all of us (myself, my husband, and my child). That gave him more happiness than giving him a separate room. What matters more is the way we include them in our conversations, exactly the way they used to do when we were young. 

Language is never a barrier when it comes to understanding emotions. The gist I shared here was shared in a Gujrati movie, "Dear Father," in which the role of father is played by Paresh Rawal ji. The movie is available on Amazon Prime. 

It's been exactly 2 years since my father left for his heavenly abode and though it is very little what I have done to him compared to what he has done for me, I feel blessed that I was able to serve him his favourite dishes at least and I will keep learning them. In his forever fond memories.

- Suganthi Sankaran

Live Positive Way - Nari Shakti

Live Positive Way - Nari Shakti 

She stands by her family as a pillar of support, leaving her ‘dream career’, keeping aside all her interests---which, once she thought she would pursue ardently till her last breathe, come what may. 

She multi-tasks by taking care of all the house-hold needs and extends her support to her child for educational and emotional support. She is always on the run, sometimes to stores to pick the essentials, or to school to pick her children, sometime to banks to attend to various financial needs….yet, she lends her ears and support to ‘him’ when he needs a support and, at times, some advice too to tackle his professional tensions, but she never says she can handle only one thing at a time. 

She is expected to do things to please people who will still constantly find fault with her in all that she does. She is expected to behave "matured" and "understand the situation" although most of the times she is right yet, she does what is expected of her. 

Falling sick is never an option, since the whole family comes to a halt if she rests for a few days. Hence, her work schedule is 24/7 all the way till the end of her life. Still, some men folks thinks themselves alone as heroes for reasons best known only to them, when she is the real Hero who is tackling both the known and the unknown tensions of everyday life, that too, every time, with a broad smile and a strong heart. Today, let’s greet the ‘real Hero’—seldom forgotten and ignored heroes—‘Women of y/our family. 

Because and only because you can handle everything, ‘they’ always depend on you for your support, love, and advice. As a mother, a sister, a wife, a daughter, a friend, or even a colleague, you ‘give’ the real reason for them to ‘exist’ and that to exist ‘happily’. 

It is no more 'Cogito ergo sum', ( I think therefore, I am) but, 'propter mulieres, hic mundus est' (Because of women, this world exists) 

Celebrating the power of women...celebrating life. - Suganthi Sankaran 

Happy Women's Day to all women in my life and wishing a great day to all men who admire and motivates her! 

#NariShakti #BeingWoman

Live Positive Way - Happy 2022!

Live Positive Way

Live Positive Way - Find Your Balance

Live Positive Way - Find Your Balance

"Every time you decide, you shift.

Choose who you want to be, and you will shift into that version of yourself.

You are always being led to your heart's core.

Reclaim your awareness. Be here now" (Anonymous).

- When I read this quote, I had an immediate profound connection with these lines. This is what today's blog is all about.

I am extremely grateful to my friends/blog-walkers who kept inquiring me about my well being, and was curious to know what happened to me since there was no posts from me for quite sometime and why I am not writing these days. My heartfelt gratitude to each one of you who is reading this right now. Thank you so much for believing in my words and for being there for me. Also, my apologies for the delay. Here we go!

'Positive Thoughts blogger' isn't a 'Superwoman', I too go through tough times in my life. I can be a motivator or an inspiration to a few, but I too have my ebb of life. I too get ignored by some close ones...have stressful days....and drift into deep emotional insecurity. At times I too long for validation of my thoughts, my feelings and my existence. Such periods existed for a couple of months now, but I don't lose myself entirely due to 3 things that I follow every day in my life.

Before getting into the blog, I must say that the recent festival time was awesome, which helped me rejuvenate and thanks to one of my close friends, Ms. Laxmi who said, 'Sugan am not able to find time for myself. Getting completely immersed in family, kids & work. How are you managing? Write about that'. This engaged me to pen down my thoughts here.

The three things that I mentioned earlier are tied up to two people. For two significant people I keep myself going. Come on! Don't start thinking about family, friends, or any special ones here... Nah! It's for the one who brought me into existence — my GOD, and the one who exists because of him — ME. Yes, sounds interesting right?

'My God and Me'.

Often people prioritize everything for everyone, but overlook these two significant people and put everyone and everything above them. And in the routine race we forget these two significant people. The magic happens only when we realise that even though we are struck in the mundane affairs, we have just this life for ourselves since the idea of rebirth too still is hypothetical, so...

No. 1 - God gives us 24 long hours a day. We meticulously formulate a time table in our mind for everything, but we really forget him. I have made my timetable, in which, daily I allocate an uninterrupted 30 minutes just to pay my gratitude to him. I do my slokha chantings in that time with absolute dedication. No phones in hand or will enable DND (DoNotDisturb mode), no house hold chores and I will strictly not entertain any external activities that time. I choose the time and my people respect and appreciate my thoughts and never disturb me. This undoubtedly helps me to hold on to my faith and the trust I have on my God Krishna. Each and every time when I face a challenge, my mind will immediately throw light on the fact that he is there for me to fix anything and it gives me reassurance.

No. 2 - Another 30 minutes I spend for myself. People close to me know that very well. I am my own admirer and my own lover. Some may mistake 'self-love' for being 'self-centered', but I think there is a subtle difference between them. I enjoy the bliss of solitude and self-love. Whatever be the issues that surround me, I surely have this 'Me Time'. Are you wondering what I will be doing at that alone time? A sample is readily available here, the blog post which I am drafting in my journal now, penning down my thoughts for all of us. Sometimes engrossed in a physical book copy in hand or reading a PDF in mobile. Some days I will be singing in my room with my Mike on as if a stage is set for me with millions off the dais cheering and listening to me. Sometimes I get on my room floor and dance bindaas. I give a damn to anyone who thinks I am insane or childish. Some days I simply sit and reflect on me...what am I going to do to make this present 'me' into a better 'me'. At times I will be watching my childhood heartthrob, Actor Akshay Kumar's songs and movies. I enjoy his screen presence which gives me a psychological satisfaction. (thanks to my super supportive husband who too eventually became his fan).You can include as many things as you want to, to this never ending list. What I believe is the fact that if I keep the 'child in me' happy I can rediscover the peace in me to tackle my stress.

No. 3 - Again, it's about me, but a little concerned about the people who need me in their life. I have to stay fit to keep them happy. For that and for my own benefits I complete my regular exercises. I at times club this with my No.2. For example; walking - with my earphones and MP3 on listening to my favourite songs. Do Zumba - since it is a fitness dance! Not exaggerating, but you bet me I will not hit my bed until and unless I finish the step count for walking I have set for myself or my plank counts, that's the commitment I have given to my own self which I can never ever break.

You may think it is possible for me and not for you, but trust me, we all are good with time management, it is only our conviction which should be strong enough to support us. These things I slowly cultivated in me for many years and these alone, I believe, are helping me cope up with my tough times. So far I have shared what I do to keep myself positive in my tough times and it is up to you, my dear blog walkers, to adapt or to skip these techniques.

In the process of becoming a Superwoman :)

Thanks again! Keep visiting my webpage!

Stay positive! 

- Suganthi Sankaran 

Educational Therapist, Positive Blogger & Counselor