Normally, a girl and a boy meet each other....either based on their mutual choice or because the parents and relatives arranged for a meet. Then eventually 'the grand event' takes place. A 'beautiful' bride and a 'handsome' groom ties the knot to become a 'family'. They start their new life with fun and happiness. They often go out on trips. They always keep cuddling each other enjoying each other's company. And they happily live forever....
Oh! This can happen only in our Bollywood/Kollywood movies and in our Television soaps (serials). Of course, 'Mega serials' are exceptions. They portray the flip side of this story. Thanks to all our female viewers. They always (!!???) feel very happy to see the other girl cry.
But the 'marital bliss' is something different from both the two scenarios stated above. We can say with certainty that it is more than roaming around, shopping and enjoying eachother's company.
Nothing comes easy in life, so is the marriage life. It takes a lot of love, care, understanding, accommodation, compromises and above all---in our Country---it takes a lot of patience and time to make it strong.
Of course after a few initial days of trails and tribulations the actual life starts. I always feel the older version of marriage that we saw in our grannys' days was "near-perfect". Some feminist readers may not agree with me on this. I think, nowadays, brides demand so much to get married to a guy. The sad part is he must know 'cooking', 'cleaning', 'moping' and what not... So demanding!! Isn't it?!
I guess the secret to a smooth and happy married life lies in the partners realising the exact areas in which they can support each other and compliment each other rather than dwell on 'conflict' over mundane stuff. Over-demanding nature from both ends can only make things worse.
From my point of view the guy must help his wife to become more independent economically, provide opportunities to explore positive sides of her personality, comfort her with freedom to express her point of view in their life decisions and support her to cater to her emotional needs. On the other hand, the girl should lend her helping hand to support her husband's professional life, either by the way of contributing financially or by staying as a constant support in every step he takes by motivating him and by saying, "I know you can do this", "You are capable of, and I am with you".
In spite of all these efforts there may still be an avenue to fight, argue or disagree with each other, but that can be solved if its been done in a peaceful way, by lending ears/shoulders to one another. Many a times, we adjust to make a passenger sit next to us in train/bus/auto with a broad smile. They are strangers we are never gonna meet them again. Imagine, how much important the person who is going to spend his entire life with us. Only harmonious life partners can create and mould a balanced child who will be emotionally and logically strong.
You all must be wondering why all of a sudden such a post on marriage life. Isn't it? Guess what.....? It's almost 11 years of roller coaster ride on this marital journey and after crossing all tides of fear, fights, bliss and peace, I guess, I am eligible to give my piece of advice on this.
Stay married and still stay happy! ☺
Keep blogwalking friends! Thank you!!
- Suganthi Sankaran
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