A popular saying - "Marriages are made in heaven"... Are they? I don't know.
Having got shifted to a new place, without friends and without much access to television news channels/programs and internet I have only one option left now to sit near my balcony and introspect on the topics, which cross my mind. One such topic, which flashed is the above one - "Are marriages made in heaven"?
This gave me a throw back incident. A few years ago, I went to my family doctor for his consultancy. He has a wide room where we were kept seated as he checks his patients one by one. The conversation that happens between the doctor and patient can be easily heard since there is no strong doors/glasses that separates him from the other patients seated in the wide room. Actually he enjoys the traditional approach of attending to his patients and all of his patients (us) are comfortable with that set up.
One woman, I vividly recollect her face, must be around 25-30, married for a couple of years, was present there for her consultancy. She was looking good, fresh and happy. She had some medical issues for which she had came with her husband for a routine follow-up.
Doctor started examining her. He asked, "How are you feeling now after taking these medicines"? Answer came from her husband, "She is feeling better now Doctor". Again Doctor asked, "are you having your meals properly without skipping them"? Once again the same strong husband's voice replied, "Enga Doctor??! Naanum solli paathutaen, kaekkavey maataengudu. Adu nalla saaptu nalla irrundathaney naan sandhoshama irrupaen?!!". (Oh Doctor, I too keep insisting her to have food properly. Only if she keeps her health good I can stay happy...right??!)
There were few more questions from the doctor but every time it was the man who explained/replied the doctor and not his lady. I was surprised to see the husband's knowledge and information even about his lady's micro activities. She was all the time giggling, smiling, feeling shy and her face expressions..... Oh God it was outstanding!! Seeing them I can easily make out that her husband must be a daily wager and they must be having very little facilities in life. But the happiness in her eyes were 'priceless'.
For the first time in my life I envied someone. All my master's degrees vanished like a dot, the pride I used to have for being an independent woman, the big brand image of having associated with NIFT, ABN AMRO (which I always treasure in my mind), all my other talents, appreciation certificates, achievements everything went for a toss and I felt like I am so small, incomplete and almost null in front of the spark in her eyes. That moment I realised, "Yes! The marriages are indeed made in heaven". If not, I could have never got an opportunity to see this scene in front of me.
More than money, more than fame, more than luxury a woman's absolute need is only 'love and care'. I also realised, every marriages must be made in heaven and I suddenly recollected all the good things that my husband used to do for me, which otherwise I hardly have thought of.
There can be various misunderstandings, there can even be some difference of opinion but if we are able to set aside those few things/traits/habits of our spouse, everyone of us can realise and see that the positive side is stronger and due to our constant cribbing nature we miss out all those good qualities in our spouse and be after them to alter/modify their nature according to our own requirements.
I wonder at times whether our education really becomes a boon or barrier when it comes to understanding the relationship better. Knowledge gives us so much inputs and once 'ego' gets combined with 'knowledge' it indulges us in examining 'everything' and 'everyone' which causes only pain and dismay.
Let's start appreciating even the smallest things in life. It will help us to stay more passionate. This journey of life can be complete only by ascertaining how good we handled life with acceptance, love, harmony and compassion.
Let's take this first step!!
Start living instead of just existing!!
Let's keep the people around us happy!!
Let the attitude of that lady's husband be ours too!!
Let's make our people happy!!
Stay happy and stay positive!!
- Suganthi Sankaran
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