Live Positive Way - Happy New year 2020!

Live Positive Way - My friend!

Often, people these days feel, they are well-connected through whatsapp, facebook, instagram and other social networks. We feel that we get connected easily with anyone and everyone through these networks, but does it really work that way?

I am recollecting my childhood days, when people have to share something or discuss something, they have to physically reach their friend's place and have a discussion with them, but now, they all are "just one touch away".....that's how we feel, isn't it. But does it work that way?

Nowadays, we all are added to various social networking groups, which includes, office groups, school friends' group, college friends' group, which at times gets further extended to other small to big friends' groups connected to different communities, associations, etc.  To add to this, if you have a school-going-child at home then you are 'by default' be part of all those school groups too.  Does this really mean we got so many people to stand by us?

I hardly find anyone having time these days (including you & me). We all are in social networks just to read and forward messages. To be frank I am so weak in that too.  Half of the forward videos I hardly even download fearing filling up my phone memory and the add-on memory card.

In normal days still all these are just fine.  We are busy with our own work and job and set in the routine life.  Suddenly when something happens, we get struck in between in a terrible situation, feeling overwhelmed due to some sudden change, feeling low and upset and really want someone to care then this big panic struck situation will hit us hard and we will realise all these days we were just 'connected' for receiving and forwarding messages.  When you long for someone to share their shoulder to cry on, or to call and listen to you or want a soothing message, we feel an emotional emptiness. We may get to face the hard reality that though there are so many 'known' to us yet there is no one really there for us, yet we cannot blame them for being busy!

These words coming from a positive thought blogger is not to make you feel upset. Not at all.  There is always a solution for every challenge. I keep blogging about it always and I follow what I preach.  There is one magical solution, which can help us during difficult times…. All the time.  Still not able to get it? 

It is your hobbies friends!

Never leave your hobbies, whatever be your favourite hobby, hold on to it.  It will help you keep your emotions in control. It can provide you the much needed support you anticipate and will make you feel like someone being around during the tough days.  It will help you to stay busy and can keep you happy and motivated. On the personal front, even during the rough phase of my life I have continued singing and sharing my tracks with my friends, they might have even wondered how am I able to sing during my worst phase but actually it is the other way around…singing helps me stay calm.  I will also be seen practising Zumba with my daughter or at times read back-to-back books of my choice.  All these hobbies has helped me stay happy, keep going and get less disheartened when I see no messages from the ones I wish to hear from or when I anticipate an enquiry message from the loved ones during my tough days and when it does not happen. 

Again there are always few buddies who keep extending their support to us, as always, but it is not good to take advantage of them, burden them with all our tensions and instead we can steamline our thoughts to keep ourselves happy.

Hobbies are and will continue to be our greatest friends. I sincerely wish, the one who had left singing, dancing, painting, gardening, reading will start doing them right away after reading this blogpost.

Wishing all very Happy Days ahead! 

Stay Positive & Keep yourself happy!

- Suganthi Sankaran

Live Positive Way - My little sweet human beings.....

My little sweet human beings.....

"Look at her! She hasn’t completed her work".

"Oh God, how many times should I tell him, still he doesn’t seem to follow anything that I say".

"Why isn’t she able to do the chores herself?"

"Does he have any problem? I am tired of explaining him several times but still he is not able to follow my instructions".

"Why can’t she write legibly? She is now 6 years old and still not able to write."

---------

These are some comments I get to hear from people around me on a daily basis.  This blog post is addressed to them. 

It’s not tough to be a 'special educator' and handle children with learning difficulties but yes it is painful to explain people around me to not to keep on complaining about the children with "learning difficulties".

Yes, they are not like you and me, they are 'different'. But they are not like other children who forget to wish you ‘Good Morning’ when you pass by.  They just love you with 'full heart' since they are not like you and me. 

They come running to you, cuddle you, shower all their love on you. They are not like you and me who just remembers others only if something is required.

At times it takes just a few seconds for them to make you happy with their innocent smile or continuous imaginary talks. Yes, they are not like you and me who knows to talk diplomatically only to grab the attention and to seek recognition. 

They clap for their friends without an iota of greed when their friends get appreciated for good grades or badges. They are not like you and me, yes, because they just don't know how to fake it in front of the world.

These tiny human beings are simply trying to gain a small space in this world, in their home, in the school and in your heart. Yes, they are not like you and me. They don't hurt others deliberately with their tantrums, they simply don't know how to express their inner feelings in a 'matured manner' like you and me.

Yes, they are not like you and me. But they at times amaze us with some of their unique talents and even teach us life lessons.... but as most of the times we are busy ignoring them we don't even recognise them, since they are not 'like you and me'.

You and me are on a constant pursuit of success, money and fame, so it is but natural that they don't have time to care about these little angels who just need some acceptance and recognition. This world is so cruel. Oh yes I know, they are not like you and me.

Call it a phrase that troubles me, or an outburst of my emotions or the pain that I feel in my heart every time I see these kids getting ignored and hear others complaining about my sweetheart--since I am their therapist and I know them well--I thought I should pen it down today.

Just one thing I can ask you all.

Be more empathetic, loving and caring towards them.

A little more patience, a little more affection and a little more time to share, will make a big difference to them.

You know better they are not like you and me, yes, but for me they are above all of us in leading an 'authentic happy life'.

- Suganthi Sankaran

Live Positive Way - Cast your vote wisely

Almost a decade back—to be precise—in 2008, I was pursuing MBA and used to go for my “Personal Contact Classes” in Mumbai.  Our batch was filled with a mixture of students, professionals, and a few homemakers like me—who have taken a break in career.  It was indeed like revisiting my college days after a long time and I thoroughly enjoyed those classes.  The highlight of those classes was the students who came from Gujarat for their contact classes since the University in which I enrolled for the course had “contact classes” only in a few selected cities. We used to sit with other-course students during our break-time or during lunch hours to chit-chat.  We used to have conversations like, which is their course? from where they have come? etc. Something caught my eyes during one such conversation, are their phones.

Smartphones were not that popular in those days, but many students used to have colour phones, which allowed them to keep ‘screen savers’, ‘backdrop pics’, etc. It’s quite natural that it grabs one’s attention when kept on the table or if something flashes on the screen.  In a few phones, I saw a middle-aged person’s picture as the screensaver. I got a bit curious, and to have a closer look, I requested the students to show it once. To my surprise, the picture they had was that of Narendra Modi-Ji. (Even though, I have heard about him and also knew that he is one of the popular Chief Ministers of our country, I personally was not a big fan of him then as I did not know much about him). I immediately asked them, ‘why him’ as a screen saver? To be frank, I was totally surprised to see his photo, since, it is but natural to see the picture of one of the close family members or some cricketer or an actor/actress and not his picture. The reply that came from them surprised me even further.  They said, “he is no less than a hero for us. He has done so much for our welfare and this is nothing in front of that”.  Only after this incident, I started reading more about Modi-ji, both, to know him personally and to know about his vision and policies, which had given him such a stature amongst the people of Gujarat.

A person who is biased, cunning or corrupt can’t earn such respect, that too from the younger generation. People sometimes get carried away by other people’s statements and often make assumptions about someone based on it.  Hence it's required to check details oneself before making any decision/opinion about anyone.  My journey to know him through books, articles and his speeches helped me to understand him better.

When he contested 2014 elections I felt so positive that he will become our Prime Minister and surely make us feel proud. I was campaigning for him by encouraging my relatives, friends to vote for him. There were a few people who even felt he is not going to win and I am wasting my time in supporting him. I believe, before 2014, none of us were this vocal about our political choices, thanks to Modi-ji again, now people freely talk their mind out. Freedom of speech has reached a stage where they have used all possible abusive expressions against the Prime Minister of the country. I used my social networking sites requesting people to vote for him in 2014 too. Whenever I posted something positive about him, the post mooted several conversations, with so many people.  That, of course, continues even now but the number of pessimistic replies have gone down phenomenally compared to the earlier election.  Happy to see many of them have even started supporting him after seeing his good governance.

Once I was surprised to see his picture in some mobile phones and now, my social networking sites has his picture as DP or Profile picture. He is the only politician for whom the general public is campaigning. I am not a politician, not even a secretary/leader of my residential society but I do campaign for him since I trust him and his vision for all of us. I am quite sure if we miss him, he will be moving with his small bundle of things, heading towards the Himalayas but we will be left to suffer in wrong hands.  My humble request to whoever reads this post is vote him back. Trust me, he will keep our security and welfare first than anything else.

All the best to Modi-Ji and to the people of India for good governance.

- Suganthi Sankaran

Live Positive Way - Appreciation

Live Positive Way - Appreciation

I asked Life,

“Why are you so difficult?”

Life 'smiled' and said,

“You people never appreciate easy things”.

What a powerful message?

This is not my first blog post about 'appreciation'. I keep posting on this topic. But this time, it’s a special blog post for me 'on appreciation'.

Whenever we talk about appreciation, we always think about ‘elders appreciating the younger ones’, ‘parents appreciating their children’, ‘seniors appreciating the juniors in work place’, ‘colleagues appreciating each other’ or ‘friends’ or ‘partners’.

A small girl made me realise that children too have the ability to 'appreciate elders' and motivate them.

The past few months were tough for me and I was trying hard to bring out my best in all areas. As a 'Specialist' working with the 'children with learning difficulties' in an International School, I often find happiness helping the children and spending more time with them. Yesterday was a lovely day for me. I was in a class helping my children with "special needs" and suddenly one girl from that class came to me. Normally, I go to classes and take care of the children referred to me and being in the age group of 4-6, sometimes out of curiosity, other students too come to me to know what I am doing. A few children, to grab my attention will keep asking me some doubts or spellings to complete their work.  So I thought she is one such a child and asked her what she wants? She showed me a beautiful drawing of two images. I said, ‘That’s really nice. Good job!’. She immediately responded with a broad smile, “Ma’am, that’s for you!” I was surprised and enquired, “but why for me”? For that she replied, “I like you”. Though I was delighted by the response, still had my own doubts and further asked, “but I never teach you, still you like me?” For this she replied, “Yes ma’am. You don’t teach me but I love you so much since you help my friends to read and write, which they found difficult to do before”. I was totally moved by this gesture of her's. A small child of age 6 is so connected and concerned about her friends and not just that she is also able to appreciate the work of a person who is 41 years old.

I was feeling out of the world hearing her “APPRECIATION” for me. At that moment, I felt like, my 4 years of association with this field is rewarded. All my efforts and passion were recognised by this child and I saw her above anyone else who can rate my performance in the organisation.

Hats off to the parents of Tanvi (that’s her name which I will never forget in my lifetime) for giving such an upbringing who cares for her friends and at the same time have the attitude of appreciating others. She changed my perspective and made me realize that even a small child can appreciate elders and the appreciation from anybody---regardless of age, group, society, person----adds more value to what we do. 

Due to so many personal 'engagements' I was not able to sit and pen down my thoughts for almost 2 months now. Two of my other blog posts (drafts) are only half-way through in my 'reflective journal'. But this small girl moved me so profoundly that I completed this blog post in no time.

I am double-charged now to work more closely and effectively with my students and I feel I have finally chosen something, which is so apt and fulfilling for me. 

Who knows, may be this is my 'real calling'?!

- Suganthi Sankaran