Live Positive Way - A tribute!

Live Positive Way - A tribute!

A little girl, who was staying away from her dad, at her uncle’s place, got hurt once. She lost a good amount of blood and got a big bandage wrapped onto her leg. She was taken care off well by her aunty, but still, she kept weeping and repeatedly said, “Appa inga irun-dirun-dah, evlo-nalla-irun-diruk-kum” (How nice it would have been if dad was here with me now?). The girl was missing her dad terribly and was dozing off due to medication. When she opened her eyes, she saw her dad sitting next to her wounded leg. That was in the year 1987, when telephones were considered a luxury and there were no mobile phones or WhatsApp available to contact others. By the way....on the very same day her dad came all the way from Chennai to Vadalur, which is roughly about 200+ kilometers away. That is the kind of bonding that the father had with his daughter.

Recently someone appreciated me for my blog posts and writing skills. I said, ‘I owe it to my dad.’ She replied, ‘but it's you who studied well and became capable of writing.’ She knew very little about my dad, but she doesn’t know that my dad was the finest orator that I knew and he can grab the attention of the entire crowd with his amazing oratorical skill and proficiency in Tamil language. I just follow his narrative style while I write. 

When I was in tender age, he started encouraging me by bringing ‘Ambulimama’, ‘Gokulam’ books regularly despite the little money he had for himself. He encouraged me to read more since he believed books are the best friends. He took pride in me even for the smallest things I did. Slowly but steadily he groomed me as a mentor. More than a dad, on many occasions he doubled up as my friend with whom I have shared all of my challenges for which he always had some solutions to offer. When at times I got average marks he softly used to say, ‘What happened this time? I hope you will score well next time’ and motivate me to aspire for better results next time. I even had the privilege of signing his signature on behalf of him. He trusted me since I was very small, and I am happy and proud now to say that I had that place intact in his heart till his last breathe. He used to tell everyone that his daughter listens to whatever he says. I am happy to hear from everyone now that how much he used to speak about me to them. He allowed me to explore my life. He sent me miles away when I got a job in New Delhi. My dad believed in me, my abilities and talents, he kept encouraging me whenever I had a fall.

My dad had a unique way of connecting with people. Everyone loves him. He can relate to people of all ages -- from a senior citizen to a toddler. The best extrovert, I have ever seen in my life is my dad. He was instrumental in me getting connected to all of his relatives, friends and the ones he loved much. No one will believe if I say that I was an introvert before, and he changed me for good. When I expressed my displeasure of not able to stand in front of people and talk confidently, he started coaching me by taking to beach and asked me to start talking loud to the waves. It’s because of my dad ‘Marina’ beach became my most favorite place on earth. Numerous times he took me there and created an emotional bonding with it.

When I look back at my journey... I realize .. 

since 'he was fond' of his culture and heritage, I learned Mahabharata and Ramayana.

Since he loved MGR and Rajnikanth, they remain special in my heart even today.

Since he believed, having more people is the most valuable asset in life; I earned many friends, wherever I went. 

He may be a simple person to many, but 'for me' he is my pillar of strength, my powerhouse, the most influential person in my life. He had chosen my subjects for higher studies; he had chosen my husband, and he had chosen my first job and even the present profession of being a 'Special Educator'. Dad visualized me as a passionate Special Educator even before I thought of taking it as my profession. He even expressed what I must do before I start my last journey. That much is his influence in my life. 

“My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me.”- Jim Valvano

I have quoted this many a time in my posts on Father's Day or in some of my blog posts. This quote validates my entire journey so far. It is painful to see that my dad is physically not present today, with whom I was so much connected since I came into existence. He is the one who understands my pain and unsaid emotions. He believed in me when I haven’t even known the meaning of the word ‘belief.’

It is now been more than a fortnight since he left for his heavenly abode. Suddenly, I lost all my confidence. I have become an introvert, almost stopped communicating with many, staying away from social networks (otherwise remains active), restricting myself to just four walls and engaging in household chores. Then suddenly realized that this is not how my dad will like me to be. This is not the one for whom he felt proud. I have to get back to my real persona, which he will certainly love seeing. He has read all my blog posts so far and have appreciated me. I just can’t stay silent since I must keep ‘Sankaran’ alive forever through my name Suganthi ‘Sankaran’.

I lost my dad, that's a fact and as a cheaper mortal, I cannot change it, it is indeed a painful experience that I haven't endured ever in my life, but I commit to myself that I must remain grateful for everything that he did for me. I am sure he has left a great impact on many lives. He taught me how to stay grounded by not forgetting the past. Only that can keep us humble and genuine. I will love you and miss you appa forever. Since we in our culture believe in eternal connection, I am sure, you are with me now as a guiding star, staying in my heart and going to show me the right path as always.

A simple tribute to the greatest dad!

By the way the little girl at Vadalur was Suganthi, and she had that telepathic connect with her appa Sankaran, who rushed to be with his daughter. Within a few hours after he had arrived, they both went to Vadalur Vallalar Temple, that too by walk! 

- Suganthi Sankaran