Live Positive Way

'Nirmala' - is a popular novel written by the most eminent Indian author Munshi Premchand.  It's a Hindi fiction about an young girl forced to marry an old man as a second wife. Theme of the novel is about the dowry system existed in those days and about a mismatched marriage and its issues. I happened to read this novel thoroughly since I had an exam paper on this novel when I was doing my Hindi courses. As an young girl I felt so depressed every time I read the novel and some sort of uneasiness kept troubling me. 

The main protagonist Nirmala with whom the story evolves had to face so many problems in her life, starting from she losing her father, eventually her marriage breaks up, she forcefully gets married to an older person and later on her husband suspects her and finally she quits as a young mother leaving her new born child behind.

Being a teenager that time I was able to understand how it had been for a girl to face so many hurdles, being blamed by the family and society always. The story was first published in 1927 (pre-independence) which highlighted the much needed social reform of that era.

It just happened today to watch it is serial version created by Gulzar in Doordarshan (at times it is good to watch Doordarshan since its not as fancy as other channels but authentic) I travelled back to those emotions I carried with me when I was reading....sorry...."studying" Nirmala years back.

I don't understand what sort of equality ladies talk about now-a-days. I don't have the locus standi to talk about other parts of India but in my state, my city, the girls have been given a very good education by their parents, in turn able to get into any profession of their choice, earning as good as a male counterpart and also able to have a stable growing career.

Once again today's parents are supportive to their daughter's choice of marriage and they are happily being married off irrespective of differences in caste, community and status. Unlike 'Nirmala' they are married off to a man just a couple of years elder to them or of an equal age and again most of the male members of our society is pretty accommodative and adjustable to their wives and definitely not like those days.

Now the question arises....still why girls keep complaining about not given equal rights? What sort of equality we need after so many changes positively done in the society itself? I have heard women arguing with their husbands to share household chores and mainly about cooking, "If I cook for 5 days you have to cook rest 2 days in a week".... But why? Since we ladies are more capable of handling household chores and cooking is a prestigious thing to do. We can do them better than a male member and hence we should feel superior in that so  why we need to share those work with them?

Its a choice we become mother and I hate people saying mother does all sacrifices for her child. We are not sacrificing instead we are happy to have a child whom we can mould as an excellent human being and leave them as our 'Signature copy'/Parchai. I am feeling proud to be a girl, a mother. I think its a greatest gift by God so we are here as a girl hence I feel why we have to share the duties of a mother with anyone else? We are excellent multitasking personalities no male can match up. We must feel proud in all those we do for our family and ourselves instead of seeking equality in those mundane activities.

Real equality of a girl is in the way she can think independently, the right to speak her mind, equality in acquiring education and knowledge, the freedom to attain her own spiritual insights, above all being herself. It may offend a few since I am not supporting or defining equality in terms of the way a girl dress up. For me more than fighting for equality in terms of dressing choice its prudent to adapt to the social atmosphere of the place we live in. Its always better to protect ourself by avoiding any uninvented troubles.

I am blessed to have a father who brought me up as an independent individual. I am also proud to have a husband as good as my dad and a step ahead of him in supporting me in all my endeavors. So I never felt that I am in anyway inferior to any male member in the society. I am happy to carry out each and every activity at home for my family and I don't find me a lady equal to men but Superior!!
- Suganthi Sankaran